Drink of the Week

Hey, there's baseball happening, people! Spring Training is in swing, and the World Baseball Classic starts next week at the Tokyo Dome. The team in the Asian Pool are China, Chinese Taipei, Japan, Korea. We've got a drink that combines flavors from all four nations.

- 2 oz Shochu*
- 1/4 oz Yuzu Juice
- 2 Grapefruit Juice
- Cider Soda

Mix the shochu, yuzu juice and grapefruit juice in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a highball glass and top with cider soda. Garnish with lemon wedge. Or, you know, just drink sake instead.





*Shōchū contains 25% alcohol by volume, a bit stronger than sake.

LOL: Cellphonery

A Few Reasons to Hate Cellphones
It's a pretty basic premise. In the last 20 years, cellular phones have gone from nearly nonexistent, to novelty, to necessity. When was the last time you met someone who didn't have a cellphone -- and what did you say when you found out? The advent of cameras, texting, and their love-child "sexting" has only made cellphones more essential. Now, it simply doesn't feel right to leave the house without a phone/web browser/media player/camera/GPS that fits in a pants pocket. Therein lies out first complaint.

They Need a New Name
If you are carrying a phone/web browser/media player/camera/GPS, it really makes no sense to call it a "phone," does it? This technology clearly needs a new name. We like "ultra-mobile" which sound futuristic and British. Or, what about "Personal Communications Device" or "PCD" for short? Nah. Who are we kidding? These things are going to be called "cells" from here to eternity. The word, cell, appropriately enough, is derived from the same Latin root as "conceal." Which make sense. That's where people hide all their dirty pictures.
They Will Soon Be Inside Us
Don't kid yourself. With modern surgical procedures, it won't be a decade before people are having personal phone/computers implanted into their person. After all, once any machine becomes that big of a part of your life, why risk of losing it? Right-handed people would probably best be served by having the cell device implanted in the left arm, just below the wrist.

They Are, Really, You've Got to Admit, Sort of Evil and Creepy...
It's lonely when you are with someone and they are texting away, listing to what you are saying but staring at their screen. Yeah, we do it, too. Almost everybody does it. But that doesn't make it any less sucky. This isn't preaching, we promise. The Grinder deeply craves and enjoys every manner of mobile tech gizmo made. If it were possible to buy a phone with a flip-up mini satellite dish, we would be first in line. But that doesn’t erase the fact that mobile technology has made it even easier to ignore the world and all the people in it.

They Vanish
Sucks. Costs money. And, if you don't have backup, you lose all your contacts. Anyone who has ever not had backup and lost a phones will find a way to make sure it never, ever happens to them again.

Sometimes People Should Just Shut The Fark Up (With Apologies to Drew Curtis.)
This is sort of a corollary to the whole cellphones-are-evil thing, but not only relationships with the rest of the world get hinky, so does your relationship with yourself.

We live in a culture that celebrates verbal self-expression. We celebrate rappers, who when you get down to it, are people who talk a lot. We go on talk shows and talk radio to talk about talking. (This, we reluctantly admit is true: we have talked on a cellphone while driving and listening to talk radio show talking about people who talk on cellphones while they drive. It was so confusing we nearly hit a tree.) Not to get all psychological on you, but sometimes, in life, in order to think more clearly about vexing issues, it's isn't a bad idea to shut up. Really. It's a lost art.

Music Box: A Rock Dinosaur (The Good Kind)

On this date in 1972, T. Rex, godfathers of glam, appeared at New York's Carnegie Hall in supporrt of the Electric Warrior album. This is the intimate, yet majestic track"Cosmic Dancer."



This is Brit band Placebo with special guest David Bowie covering 1973's "20th Century Boy." Live.

SportsGrinder

Stephon Marbury could play for Boston as early as tonight, against Indiana at TD Banknorth Garden and we still don't understand why. Ever since the Marbury-to Boston-rumors began, no one has been able to answer, or seemingly even address, why Boston wants Marbury to play on the parquet. Yeah, we know he can score consistently when he's on. The Celts will use him for points off the bench, letting Eddie House play two-guard. he's what they miss without Sam Cassell. But Marbury also hasn't played a real NBA game in more than a year and has shown a tendency throughout his career to pout like a whiny, little baby if something offends his delicate sensibilities. Ah well, it's only for the stretch run. If he doesn't work out, they will slice and send him to free agency.















The guy in the yellow shirt? Bashir Ramathan. He's a blind boxer in Uganda. No joke. A boxer who's blind. Ow. His club, East Coast Boxing is set to stage the first ever blind amateur boxing match between Uganda’s Ramathan and Tanzanian Simon Peter Omar on March 28.

The gents who wrote a behind-the-scenes book about SNL are doing the same for the Worldwide Leader. Little, Brown announced that it had signed Tom Shales and Jim Miller, co-authors of "Live From New York," to write a book about ESPN. The book currently has the catchy name of "The Untitled ESPN Book," but they'll probably come up with a better one. This will be great. We're looking forward to tales of Chris Berman and Keith Olberbman coming to blows in the cafeteria and finally learning the truth about Suzy Kolber's hair.

Maurice Clarett, reports Deadspin, is blogging from jail. He was easy to dislike during his troubled, ill-fated, (insert cliché here) career at Ohio State (for about five minutes) and the NFL (Way to go Mike Shanahan!). But this doesn't seem like that same guy we knew. Maybe Maurice really has grown as a person. Or maybe he knows he has to write nice thing if he wants an early release, and so hired another prisoner to make him look good.

Tiger Woods may have been beaten on the links, but he still won something. Manofest.com has a list of the hottest PGA Tour wives and Elin Woods came out on top. There's no doubt she's fine, but we are partial to David Toms' wife, the MILF-tastic Sonya Toms.

The Browns traded Kellen Winslow to the Buccaneers for draft picks. Browns general manager George Kokinis said of Winslow, "We appreciate his passion for the game and wish him success in Tampa Bay," That's GM-speak for "Take your big mouth, your freak injuries and hit the road."

Early this year, CMT kicked off a new season of Cribs with a special NASCAR edition, starring Kevin Harvick, Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch. The next episode, with Martin Truex Jr., will be shot March 3rd. The irony is that NASCAR drivers, during the season at least, spend approximately one day a week at home. If that.

Manny Ramirez rejected the latest offer from Dodgers. What else can you possibly say about this guy? And by "this guy," of course, we mean Manny's agent, Scott Boras. He's the worst.

THE DAILY GRIND: The Grinder in Budget Inferno

Stop the presses!

Wait. Do they still have presses? Who cares. Stop whatever there is to stop. Despite recently blogging that tendinitis might force her out of “Dancing With the Stars,” Jewel is soldiering on.

“Yes, it is true I have had a minor setback in my training," she wrote. But the singer is dedicated to "showing the judges and America that I can cha-cha with the best of them." Phew! Thank goodness. The American people, as well all know, have been desperately concerned about the condition of Jewel's cha-cha.

Okay. You got us. The Grinder doesn't care about "Dancing with the Stars." In fact, we are quite proud to have never watched a single episode. But Jewel's cha-cha is at least more interesting than the day's biggest story; Obama's budget. There it sits, like a lump at the top of every web search and newscast, demanding comment.

It's kind of drag, really. Nobody likes talking about their own, household budget, especially when money is tight. Talking about the government's business is even more daunting. People bluster and pontificate, throwing around inconceivably huge numbers, like $3.6 trillion dollars. The average dude just sits there, feeling pounded by it all, hoping the people running the show are either good, lucky or preferably both.

It doesn't take genius to know when the pundits stand. Paul Krugman adores the budget, Charles Krauthammer says Obama wants to unmake the Reagan Revolution; a process, we would like to point out, that got a good start under the previous White House occupant.

There's a lot of "outrage" from conservatives about the plan, but nothing in it is much of a surprise. Most of this stuff is off-the-rack liberalism; big increases in social welfare programs, cuts in defense, more government regulation of business and, of course, higher taxes.

The plan raises taxes on the oil and gas industry, and on hedge fund managers, which the public will have no problem embracing. Obama also proposes that families who make more than $250,000 a year lose the Bush administration tax cuts, meaning the top income rate would rise to 39.6%. Some of that cash, in your basic Robin Hood scenario, will help create a $634 billion fund that lawmakers can use to finance health care for the uninsured.

Basically, if you are liberal, you love it. If you are conservative, you hate it. If you are nuanced and not an ideologue of any sort, you probably have mixed feelings. Health care for the uninsured is a good idea for pragmatic, as well as humanitarian reasons. A healthier America, especially among the poor, will be a stronger, smarter, more productive nation. But you've got to pay for that somehow, and the idea of the Federal Government taking almost 40 cents out of every dollar that an American -- any American earns -- just seem outrageous.

There's more, by the way. The plan has a "cap-and-trade" system for carbon emissions. That means the government auctions permits to companies that emit greenhouse gases and allows them to trade those allowances; an idea confuses us every time we think about it. The new budget also has a program to establish a national infrastructure bank and mandates on employers to enroll workers in retirement savings accounts. We could go on. There's 134 pages of this stuff. But, all in all, we'd rather be talking about Jewel.

Thursday Working for the Weekend

It's time once more to gaze into our crystal ball, by which we mean the Internet, and peer deep into the future, by which we mean a few days, and tell you what to watch for this weekend. Heed well.

There's plenty of live music out there. On Friday and Saturday night, Van Morrison is playing "Astral Weeks Live" inside the WaMu Theater in New York City. Ben Folds is playing Ovens Auditorium in his hometown of Charlotte, NC. The Game has put off his plans to "retire" and is kicking it in Seattle at the Showbox SoDo. Sunday night Busta Rhymes is at Club Nokia in LA. Las Vegas, being Las Vegas, has Cher.

The movies out there are less encouraging. Now is when people see the Oscar-winning films they missed when they first came out, so there's not much new coming to theaters. Except, of course, for Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience in IMAX. (Aren't you glad we didn't insult you by linking to it?)

TV, frankly, also looks a little weak. SNL is a rerun, with Neil Patrick Harris and Taylor Swift, and none of the reality shows have enough going on to grab your attention. There's plenty of sports on though, especially if you like to see men dribble. Something like 13 NBA games are slated for Friday night, with the best of the bunch being Cleveland vs. San Antonio, airing that night on ESPN. King James will put on a good show for the national TV audience.

Saturday, afternoon, at last comes the big one: the Kansas City Royals meet the San Diego Padres in a classic, Cactus League battle. Oh, all right. No one cares. But the point is that spring training is underway. If you are a baseball fan who lives within a day's drive of Arizona or Florida, it's time to start thinking road trip.

Today in Music: "I'm Getting Tired Of Your Shit. You Don't Never Buy Me Nothing..."

Happy Birthday to the sublime and bootylicious Ms. Erykah Badu, the slinkiest and smartest soul singer of her generation. (Believe it or not, the Grinder's spellcheker did recognize bootylicious as a word, an oversight than has now been corrected.)


This is the dirtiest love song ever written about reincarnation, "Next Lifetime" off the 1997 album Baduizm.


Here, Ms. Badu joins My Morning Jacket live for their cover of her signature hit "Tyrone." The clip, from the Palladium Ballroom in Dallas, is bootleg but the energy of the show kind of makes up for the bad sound.

LOL: Woof!

You know, Michael Vick isn't the funniest subject in the world. But the disgraced quarterback did give us a doggone (sorry) good idea for today's LOL. Usually, we stay away from cute animal pics. The humor is way too easy. But just for today, as a special occasion, we are indulging our love of canines with a dog-centric LOL.


This guy has a serious problem. Someone ought to call Dr. Drew
and see if the pup can get on Celebrity Dog Rehab.



No, this pic isn't doctored. Brandy, a fawn boxer with the
tongue of a white whale, lives in Minnesota and was recently
featured on "Ripley's Believe it or Not." (It's seventeen
inches, if you must know.)



Yeah, we added the caption. But you can tell
that's what he's thinking.



"Dude, you've got to try and relax."



Our question: Does this dog really belong to this woman? If so, the mutt is behaving badly. If not he might be doing exactly what he's been trained for.



This is grabbed from the photo-sharing site Pixdaus which has all sorts of dog-related stuff. Go there. Click. Browse. If you can figure out who the artist is, let us know. We want this as a poster.

SportsGrinder

It looks like Ron Mexico is about to be let loose. A bunch of sources are reporting that Michael Vick has been approved for home confinement and could be released to his Virginia home (the one he might lose because of bankruptcy) as early as May 21.

The question now becomes when, or if, NFL commissioner Roger Goddell will reinstate Vick to the league. We are guessing he will, but not for 2009. Goddell will probably throw down a one-year suspension, meaning Vick has to prove he can stay clean for a year to play in 2010.

The Falcons, who have the anti-Vick in last year's rookie phenom Matt Ryan, would love to trade Vick's rights to another team, but probably won't get much value. This is not a running back who drove drunk and or a wide-receiver whose gun went off at a nightclub. Those crimes were stupid. Most crimes are. They are committed from a combination of stupidity, greed and passion. But dog-fighting, and the savage way Vick treated his animals, suggests more than mere stupidity or greed, and these certainly weren't impulsive acts. His crimes speak of an innate cruelty; a methodical, almost compulsive sadism towards creatures with no power to resist. That's hard to comprehend, let alone forgive.

For NFL teams, Vick becomes a complex equation. The Grinder has always hated his style of play, which turns the precision timing of modern offenses into an improvised sandlot game. But Vick probably does (still ) have enough ability to help a bad football team win a few more games. Still, he brings enormous emotional baggage. Any team that signs him will face a massive public relations firestorm, almost certainly losing hundreds or maybe thousands of season ticket holders. That has to be weighed against whatever benefits Vick would provide, and it's hard to imagine that any team would take the risk. Yet, one probably will. Maybe it'll be the Bengals, who don't seem to mind felons. Or the Raiders, who love them. We'd like to see Vick go to Cleveland. Not for any football reason. Just for the irony of seeing him play for the Dawg Pound.

Bill Simmons + Deadspin + Joel McHale from"The Soup" = Darn Good Comedy

Jason Whitlock explains why Jim Calhoun's rant over his bloated salary was such a pathetic, shameful display. But Jason leaves out one point. Calhoun thinks he's worth whatever he's being paid because UConn basketball supposedly brings $12 million dollars to the university. But Calhoun ignores that he can't do it alone. He, personally, doesn't bring in all that money. It takes a combination of staff, coaches, ticketing, security, vendors and, oh yeah, the young men and women who play basketball. Surely, they bring something of value to the table, what being the ones who dribble, pass and shoot the ball. Whether college players should get paid is a topic for another day. Right now, we just want to point out another way in which Calhoun is a jerk.

Finally, with all the Tiger hype coming back online, Holy Taco helps us remember that not all golfers are superhuman robots. Check out the Eight Greatest John Daly moments.

THE DAILY GRIND: Do Polar Bears Drink Too Much Coffee?

You want an example of why people hate politics? Forget your political orientation for a second and follow along. Yesterday, the House passed a $410 billion spending measure. Tucked inside is a provision that authorizes President Obama to reverse a Bush administration rule that said energy projects couldn’t be blocked solely because their emissions might add to global warming.

Got all that? Neither did we, on first read. Basically, it's all about polar bears.

A few years ago, when polar bears were officially named an endangered species, it meant that almost any kind of construction project within their habitat, the arctic, could be blocked on environmental grounds. Technically, even projects not in the arctic could be blocked on the theory that their carbon emissions would add to global warming and, hence, potentially harm the protected bears. Then-President Bush passed a measure which ruled that projects outside the arctic habitat of bears couldn't be blocked on those grounds.

The new Democratic proposal, say Republicans, reverses that rule and would give the Federal Government sweeping powers to block almost any building project, anywhere in the United States, because it might hurt bears. This means, for instance, that almost any construction project funded as part of the economic stimulus bill could also be blocked by another arm of the government. Now, we understand what Stephen Colbert has against these beasts. They've paralyzed Washington.

Fear not, though. Sure, government is so confusing that even the people running the show don't seem to know what's going on. But at least we can count on science. Science gives us a clear, simple, black-and-white view of the world that's based on demonstrable facts. Suppose you are worried about how much coffee you drink. Just type "coffee" and "health" into Google News and the indisputable facts will appear. You will learn that coffee is linked to "hallucinations," but coffee drinkers have a lower risk of developing dementia. You will also learn that coffee lowers women's risk of stroke, but also makes breasts shrink. Okay. We take it back. Most science seems a little clueless, too.

Thanks goodness for Sully. This, apropos of nothing beyond it's own coolness, is a computer simulation of the Captain Sully's water landing in the Hudson -- with the real audio dubbed on top.

MusicBox : The Quiet One

Tons of Beatles news today. On this date in 1963, the Beatles released their 1st US single, "Please Please Me." On this same date in 1969, the band started recording what would become the Abbey Road album. Today in 1972, Paul McCartney released the strangely whimsical, strangely ponderous protest song, "Give Ireland back to the Irish." But the biggest Beatle anniversary today commemorates this date in 1943, when George Harrison was born.


This is Harrison and Bob Dylan performing a duet of Dylan's 1970 song "If Not For You," in an outtake from "The Concert for Bangladesh."


This is probably our favorite single from Harrison's post-Beatle career. (Yes, including the Traveling Wilburys stuff.) The yearning, driving "What Is Life" is the first track on Side Two of Harrison's solo album All Things Must Pass. It was released as a single on February 15, 1971, peaking at #10 on the Billboard charts and seeing pretty solid rotation on classic rock radio ever since.

LOL: Signs, Signs, Everywhere... Aw, You Know the Rest...

Today we found this (almost) endlessly entertaining website; a fake warning sign generator. Because the web is meant to be interactive, we heartily encourage you to click over some time and enjoy it.

However, because the web makes you lazy, we also invite you instead to copy and paste all the signs below, send them to your friends and claim you made them yourself. The Grinder has got your back like that.

There ought to be a law. A Federal Law that's posted outside the door of any establishment where such a thing is true.

Watch out for palm readers? Be careful of squiggly Dow Jones things? We're stumped.

Always a bad plan.

Yeah. You know. Well... We just do how we do, Playboy People.

True. But that war was lost around 1996.

It's coming. Just you wait. Give it three, or maybe five more years, tops.

SportsGrinder

Deadspin is utterly obsessed with picking apart Rick Reilly. So much so, in fact, many might call it dumb, pointless, even cruel, and point out that the obsession is most likely based on professional jealousy. The Grinder, however, would disagree, because we are also obsessed with Rick Reilly and have no qualms about admitting that it's dumb, cruel and we're jealous. He's just so rich and famous -- at least rich and famous for a sportswriter.

In this column, the world learns that Reilly, a confirmed blog-hater and maker of "mom's-basement" jokes, has a personal website where he posts random thoughts on whatever suits his fancy. Um… Rick? We hate to break this to you, but that is what the kids today call "blogging." Actually, wait. That was a lie. We didn't hate breaking that to you one bit. Truth be told, we enjoyed it immensely.

Valentine's Day Weekend, the Memphis Grizzlies' Marko Jaric eloped with his Brazilian supermodel girlfriend, Adriana Lima. Strangely, martial bliss doesn't seem to be helping his game. In his last three appearances, Jaric has scored precisely zero points, going 0-for-10 from the field. Weird. He suddenly seems tired. Wonder why?















Oh. Yeah. That's why.





Baseball America has finished posting it's list of the Top 100 prospects. Fun to browse, but will even half these kids see time in the big leagues? Meh. Here's a baseball story we like more: Athlete Makes Funny Ad.

Everyone at the Grinder, as readers know, couldn't be more gripped by the momentous, earth-shattering news that Alex Rodriguez used steroids. Thankfully, Selena Roberts' expose in Sports Illustrated was just a teaser for a book whose publication has been moved up to April. Apparently, "A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez" includes salacious details about Rodriguez sex life. (No, we aren't linking to it.)

Just imagine! A big league baseball player who likes sex. That is a stunner. Seriously? The Grinder is trying to think of a way to protest our massive indifference to this story, and maintain that every moment spent watching, listening to, or reading about A-Rod is time that could be better spent scrubbing toilets in a Mexican jail.

The Daily Grind : Obama Speaks... Again

President Obama spoke to the nation last night in an address to a joint session of Congress. Bobby Jindal gave the GOP response. Now it's time for the Grinder's official response to both. Yawn.

Sure, it was nice to see Obama being optimistic again. Two weeks ago the guy was threatening "catastrophe" if the economic stimulus package didn't pass. This speech was more hopeful, but felt perfunctory. Maybe the most dramatic line was; "We will rebuild. We will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before."

Really, Mr. President? The United States of America, the mightiest economic engine the world has ever known, will recover from a housing bubble and bank panic? Thanks for the pep talk, sir.

We could nitpick over policy, like when Obama claimed his stimulus package passed without earmarks. Total BS. The stimulus, and the budget he'll present in a couple days, both have thousands of "earmarks" by any reasonable definition of the word.

You could also note the irony that a president whose campaign was built on opposition to the Iraqi war announced a timeline for US troop withdrawal on terms that, dare we say, look a lot like "mission accomplished." This time next year, Obama will probably become the first president in history to give a victory speech for a war he voted against.

The real news of this speech, though, is that semantic nitpicking and ironically bemused distance are about the only emotions we can muster. Obama is intensely bright and charming, but the "rock star" hype is getting old. One congressman waited eight hours on the capital floor to make sure he had a good seat, which Anderson Cooper rightfully called "kind of pathetic." Others got autographs from the President on his way out, like they were tween-age girls meeting a Jonas brother.

No matter how charismatic the politician, politics is, emphatically, not rock and roll. Politics is, basically, one guy in a suit talking about crap like financial regulatory reform and the rules governing who can bid on government contracts. There are no screaming guitars, laser-light shows, flashpots or flying pigs. The audience is not filled with drunk, hot women who occasionally bare their breasts. Not that anyone needs to see Nancy Pelosi's chest, but we digress.

To tell you the truth, last night we would rather have watched the new episode of "Scrubs" that was supposed to air. To tell you even more truth, we flipped away from the speech live and only watched later so we could catch the new episode of "Dogg After Dark."

Music Box: The (Other) King

Thinking about "I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea" got us thinking about Rock and Roll Hall-of-Famer Elvis Costello's larger body of work. The Irish legend is, incidentally the second most famous person ever named Elvis, just ahead of former NFL quarterback Elvis Grbac.


This is Elvis Costello and The Attractions with 1984's utterly delightful "The Only Flame In Town." Guest vocals by Daryl Hall, of Hall & Oates fame.



A stark, solo acoustic version of U2's song, Please," complete with odd German subtitles.



Supposedly, this is first ever song played publicly by Elvis and the Attractions (audio only), recorded at a tiny pub in London in 1977. Maybe. Maybe not. It sure sounds raw, fast, pissed-off and fun enough to be the real deal.

LOL: The World According to Grinder

Geography has never been our best subject. In fact, we suck out loud. That's why we carefully crafted our very own Grinder-centric map of the world. Now we never get confused when newscasters talk about exotic, foreign capitals like; Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and Pittsburgh. You might want to print this one out.

SportsGrinder 02.24.09

We have got to be honest. This is kind of a slow sports day. There were only six NBA games last night, so there isn't much to talk about there. Kansas beat OU in last night's biggest college hoops game. But Blake Griffin wasn't playing so who knows what that says about either team. The biggest brouhaha in the NHL is whether Sydney Crosby is a wimp because he didn't fight Alexander Ovechkin.




Tiger Woods hits the links for the first time in eight months tomorrow, but no one will really care until Sunday if he's in a position to win. Michael Phelps will return to the pool, swimming at a national meet in Charlotte. Officials announced Tuesday that the Olympic great has committed to the Charlotte UltraSwim on May 14-17; his first tune-up for July's world championships in Rome. Gee, that is exciting. Is it time for the London Olympics yet? Because that's pretty much the next time we'll be watching any swimming.

51 cars have entered the field for NASCAR's Cup race in Las Vegas this weekend, which seems to belie the notion that abad economy will cripple motorsports. Neither will Islamic radicals. The Dakar Rally will return to South America in 2010. The race was moved from its traditional route in West Africa because of terrorism fears in Mauritania and was a success this year in the Western Hemisphere. Cool. But they will have to change the name. How about getting a corporate sponsor and calling it "the Drakkar Noir Rally"? Maybe not.

Will Leitch, who we thought left Deadspin months ago, debuted a new column today. "Ten Humans of the Week," according to the author "may or may not work." Leitch will write once a week about ten people. Hence, the name.

For something you might even print and read offline, check out Wright Thompson's story celebrating the remarkable achievements of the 1962 Ole Miss football team. Yeah, the subject matter is a little preachy, Ken Burns-style. But you have to admit that he's got one heck of an opening line. "When I was 5 or 6, because of my dad's political activism in the Mississippi Delta, local white supremacists burned a cross in our front yard."

Oh, and in soccer? A rejuvenated Drogba can lift Chelsea against Juve. Just kidding. Sorry futbol fans. We have no idea who Drogba and Juve are. And isn't Chelsea the place that Elvis Costello said he didn't want to go?

GearMania Tuesday: The New Nüvifone

We love Asus, which is making cheap, high-quality stuff. We've always loved Garmin, which introduced GPS to the masses, then lost it's market share to pretenders. Finally, we love the umlaut. (Whüe doesn't?)

Quite naturally then, we are pumped about the release of the nüvifone M20; the second handset in the Garmin-Asus partnership. The newest nüvifone is a full-on GSM phone with Wi-Fi connectivity, real time GPS, a web browser, email, personal messaging, stereo Bluetooth, camera, video, music player and, oh yeah, a 2.8-inch touchscreen. The M20 runs Windows Mobile 6.1 Professional, sweet, and comes with either 4 or 8 gig of storage.

This, simply, is the kind of tech that reduces a man to a mumbling Neanderthal. "Must… have…shiny… box." Don't yüe agree?

THE DAILY GRIND 02.24.09

There is an old joke about media bias that goes something like this: God told three reporters at three different newspapers that the world was about to end. The next day, three different headlines appeared. The Wall Street Journal wrote, "World to End Tomorrow; Markets to Close Early," USA Today's said "IT'S OVER!" and the New York Times had, "World to End; Women and Minorities hardest hit."

A story in today's Times makes us wonder if the last headline should be amended to "women, minorities and artists." The story focuses on firms like Art Capital Group, an elegant pawn shop by another name, that lends money against fine artwork. Last year, the Times says, photographer Annie Leibovitz borrowed $15.5 million from Art Capital Group. As collateral, she put up three townhouses in Greenwich Village, a country home in upstate New York and, here's the twist, the rights to every photograph she has ever taken or ever will.

The piece is kind of interesting from a business perspective, calling to mind to old salt that a financier is just a pawnbroker with imagination. But it's also annoying that the story is presented in the same somber, end-of-the-world tones as the front-page economic news. It's a shame that Leibovitz can't afford her own life and all, but the woes of a high-priced celebrity photographer who apparently tries to live like the stars she photographs isn't exactly tops on our list of concerns.

David Brooks, one of the Times' token conservatives, hopes that Obama's sweeping changes to government will prove conservatism wrong. The 20th century, he says, is littered with "social-engineering projects executed by well-intentioned people that began well and ended badly." Like, welfare policies that "had the unintended effect of weakening families" and development programs that "left a string of white elephant projects across the world." Brooks thinks the Obama administration, still trying to figure out how the White House phone system works, has bitten off more than it can collectively chew. But, patriotic, he still wakes up every day hoping to be proved wrong.

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano argues that it's time to tax and regulate weed just like alcohol. The assemblyman from (of course) San Francisco announced legislation Monday that would make California the first state to tax and regulate marijuana in the same manner as alcohol. Ammiano's measure, AB 390, would essentially replicate the regulatory structure used for beer, wine and hard liquor, with taxed sales barred to anyone under 21.

By some estimates, California's pot crop is a $14-billion industry, putting it above vegetables and grapes. That could mean upward of $1 billion in tax revenue for the state each year. Not to mention the amount of money saved by not chasing, prosecuting and jailing marijuana offenders. Oh wait, we just mentioned it.

Ammiano claims the measure will boost public safety, keeping law enforcement focused on more serious crimes. Duh. he also says the environment would benefit from the uprooting of environmentally destructive backcountry pot farms that denude fragile ecosystems, which is something, frankly, that never occurred to us. One more reason to say yes.

MusicBox 02.23.09

On this date, way back in 1983, Men at Work won the Grammy for Best New Artist. The band beat Asia, Jennifer Holliday, Human League and Stray Cats. (Yes, Asia was up for Best New Artist, even though most of the band were, like, 40 when they formed.) Other bands debuting in the magical year of '83 include; Duran Duran, Soul Asylum, Jesus and Mary Chain and Bon Jovi, none of whom were nominated for a freaking thing. But we are here to celebrate, not hate. Today, it's all about the Men from the Land Down Under. Beyond all the 80's affectation and Beatle-esque video antics, Men at Work were solid musicians playing well-crafted pop songs.


This is "It's a Mistake," off their second album, Cargo.



Check out this B-side, "Helpless Automaton," performed live at the peak of the band's popularity. You don't have to get though the whole tune, but listen enough to get a feel for it. This, kids, is what the 80's sounded like.


Finally, this is Colin's Hay's lovely, haunting version of "Overkill" performed for an episode of "Scrubs." Before you ask, we have no clue why the song is set to clips from "A Beautiful Mind."

SportsGrinder 02.23.09

That, all in all, was a solid sports weekend. We had the usual, big-time college basketball upsets. LeBron James went off for 55 on Friday night -- including 8-11 from outside the arc. The NFL Combine churned in Indianapolis. NASCAR managed to get a Cup race in between the raindrops and, and folks are even talking about baseball without mentioning steroids.

Oh, wait. We lied. That story does mention 'roids. Dang. But we won't mention drugs again. Here's a better baseball story. The Washington Nationals found out that Esmailyn Gonzalez, the 19-year-old shortstop who in July 2006 received the largest bonus ($1.4 million) the franchise has ever given an international player, is actually a 23-year-old player named Carlos Alvarez Daniel Lugo. Insert your Little League World Series jokes here.

What else? The Rangers fired coach Tom Renney today after the team lost 10 of 12 games, putting their playoff spot in peril. Of course firing an NHL coach isn't rare. It's about as common as steroids in baseball. Oops. Sorry. There we go again.

We are kind of bummed that Blake Griffin, he of the 22 points and 13.8 rebounds per game, won't play when Oklahoma hosts the Jayhawks tonight. This game has been circled on both teams' calendars since the schedule came out and will most likely to decide the Big 12 winner. It’s shame for hoops fans that OU won't be at full strength. Unless they happen to be Jayhawks, in which case they probably aren’t all that upset.

And how weird was Griffin's injury anyway? It looked like Dexter Pittman, Texas' 300-pound center, did nothing more than swipe Griffin's nose with his arm, yet it was enough to give the kid of concussion? A strange injury on a strange play.

Lastly, If you spend way, way too much time online like we do, you know Brian Collins, the "Boom goes the dynamite!" guy. If you have better things to do with your time, this is him below, giving maybe the worst sports report in the history of sports reporting.




Awful Announcing noticed that Brian's catchphrase has made it all the way to Hollywood, being uttered on stage at last night's Oscars by none other than Will Smith.

LOL: Dancing with Mr. G.

Dancing is essential. Whether you are single, dating or married, being able to dance, at least a little bit, is simply part of being a well-rounded, 21st century person. And no, not because dance is "good exercise" or a healthy means of self-expression. We could care less about that crap. Dancing matters because people who dance have way, way better sex lives than people who don't. The cold, cruel fact for all you wallflowers is that people who dance get laid more, because everyone assumes they are more in tune with their bodies and, hence, better in bed. Or in the kitchen. Or outside. Or whatever. That's we have got Five Steps to Not Sucking on the Dance Floor. Because we care.

Step 1: Step on to the dance floor
As with love itself, you can't win if you won't play.

Step 2: Use deodorant before you do
As with love itself, it's usually best not to smell like old gym socks. Also, along those lines, dress lightly at night clubs. Nobody needs to see you sweat through your hoodie.

Step 3: Ballroom dancing is not a bad thing
Sure, your basic "man's man" will think there is something effeminate about eschewing a pick-up basketball game for tango lessons. But being the only (straight) guy in a dance studio full of under-clad sweaty, writhing women does have it's advantages.

Step 4: Be Careful With Grinding
Seriously. Grinding; hips-on-hips, or especially crotch-on-butt, must be done very, very carefully. Once in a while, with the right amount of liquid courage, done in a non-sleazy, self-deprecating way, a little grinding on the dance floor can be a blast. But if the grind is unwanted by either party, it's awkwardness on massive scale and, possibly, a felony.

Even worse, though, is when both parties are into the grind-- too much. Then life immediately becomes embarrassing for everyone around them. Please, we're begging here: do not be part of that couple. Ever. We are asking Congress to make a law that every dance flor come equipped with a garden hose so over-grinding couples can be doused with cold water like the rutting dogs they are.

Step 5: Summing up; Try to Suck Less
There are really only two basic rules for modern club dancing. Stay in time and dance with your feet.

Admittedly, "dance with your feet" might sound stupid; like telling someone to see with their eyes. But most people don't really dance much with their lower-body. They start with their heads, nodding in time, then use their hands. Only later, usually after more drinks, do the hips, knees and feet finally get involved. (The most extreme example of this style is neo-hippies, who often dance for hours only with their hands, while their feet never see daylight.

"Stay in time" means that pretty much everything you do on the dance floor should be on a eight count, because pretty much all danceable pop, rock and hip-hip is is written in the same 4/4 time signature. (No angry email. Yes, there are always exceptions.) So, while you are dancing, count eight beats in the song and move in time with that count. If that makes no absolutely no sense, practice in front of a mirror, ala Napoleon Dynamite, and it will. We hear this D-Quan guy can really lay down a groove.

Booklist: Surviving the Suburbs

There are about a million survival books out there. Most of them tell you stuff like what to eat when you are lost in the Brazilian jungle or what cactus to suck in the Gobi desert. Basically, it's all the stuff you see on "Survivorman" and "Man vs. Wild."


But, really, how often are you lost in the desert? When was the last time you found yourself wandering Amazon basin? In the United States, most people need to know how to survive in cities and suburbs, not a remote wilderness. Should you face a natural disaster, like a flood or zombie attack, "When All Hell Breaks Loose: Stuff You Need To Survive When Disaster Strikes" can help. And author Cody Lundin's brash, confrontational style makes reading it significantly less dull than an army field guide.

THE DAILY GRINDER : Rick Santelli's Cel-Webrity

Thursday morning, Rick Santelli was an almost-anonymous financial reporter for MSNBC. That afternoon, broadcasting from Chicago, he was asked about President Obama's new housing recovery plan. Santelli basically lost it; saying the plan rewarded "losers" and, eventually, calling for a "Chicago Tea Party" to protest. CNBC put the video of Santelli online to massive acclaim, and a YouTube star was born.

Some wrote that Santelli is an authentic expression of populist rage; others that he's a self-seeking buffoon. We figure the truth is a bit of both. But his motive isn't as important as the chord he struck. The rant got so much play that the White House press secretary Robert Gibbs was asked about it, responding dismissively that Santelli "doesn't have his facts straight." It was a little galling, really, to see the Obama administration simply brush off Santelli's rant.

Maybe he doesn't have his facts straight, who knows? The plan includes more low-interest loans from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, new powers for bankruptcy judges to modify bad loans, and cash incentives for lenders to modify loans at risk of foreclosure. For all we know, it could be sheer genius or raw idiocy. But the viral popularity of Santelli's tirade isn't about "the facts" or the relative merits of using cash incentives for home loan lenders to renegotiate. Most of the time, Santelli didn't even seem to be talking about the new housing plan specifically. That was just the last straw. The speech was more of an all-purpose, Howard Beale-ish lashing out over the government's handling of the whole financial mess. All of it: the bank bailouts, the loans to car companies, the economic-stimulus package changed in secret, the housing rescue and news of a budget that will, of course, raise taxes to pay for it all.

Read any message board to the right of Huffington Post. People are mad. They wonder if this is what "spreading the wealth around" looks like? A redistribution of wealth from people who have worked hard, saved money and lived within their means, to people who have screwed up or stolen; whether in Washington, Detroit, on Wall Street or Main Street.

Santelli's rage, authentic or not, touched a nerve that Obama would be unwise to ignore. Today, it feels like the president swept to victory on cloud of inevitability, but history always feels inevitable in retrospect. Roughly speaking, the country split 53/45 for Obama, with the rest going to third-parties or write-ins; despite an erratic, lackluster campaign from the Republican challenger. With these sweeping economic measures. Obama has basically bet his entire presidency on how the economy does over the next year. If things aren't better by Christmas, that "permanent Democratic majority" we heard about last fall? It won't last beyond the elections of 2010.