Got all that? Neither did we, on first read. Basically, it's all about polar bears.
A few years ago, when polar bears were officially named an endangered species, it meant that almost any kind of construction project within their habitat, the arctic, could be blocked on environmental grounds. Technically, even projects not in the arctic could be blocked on the theory that their carbon emissions would add to global warming and, hence, potentially harm the protected bears. Then-President Bush passed a measure which ruled that projects outside the arctic habitat of bears couldn't be blocked on those grounds.
The new Democratic proposal, say Republicans, reverses that rule and would give the Federal Government sweeping powers to block almost any building project, anywhere in the United States, because it might hurt bears. This means, for instance, that almost any construction project funded as part of the economic stimulus bill could also be blocked by another arm of the government. Now, we understand what Stephen Colbert has against these beasts. They've paralyzed Washington.Fear not, though. Sure, government is so confusing that even the people running the show don't seem to know what's going on. But at least we can count on science. Science gives us a clear, simple, black-and-white view of the world that's based on demonstrable facts. Suppose you are worried about how much coffee you drink. Just type "coffee" and "health" into Google News and the indisputable facts will appear. You will learn that coffee is linked to "hallucinations," but coffee drinkers have a lower risk of developing dementia. You will also learn that coffee lowers women's risk of stroke, but also makes breasts shrink. Okay. We take it back. Most science seems a little clueless, too.
Thanks goodness for Sully. This, apropos of nothing beyond it's own coolness, is a computer simulation of the Captain Sully's water landing in the Hudson -- with the real audio dubbed on top.
