Last week was a strange one. Let's break it down, shall we? The U.S. Congress, which had given lots of money to a failed insurance company, found that some of the money went to guys who screwed the company up in the first place.
How could it not?
Yet, this made the American people mad. So Congress faked outrage, even though there was language in the bailout bill that specifically approved using the money for bonuses. They made the guy who runs the company now, but had nothing to do with the bonuses, come to Capital Hill and be publicly lambasted for handing out the very bonus money Congress approved. Congress then retroactively and punitively taxed the bonus money. But not before first, wait for it, asking the recipients to give the cash back voluntarily. Tremendous. Truly. Just a stunning exhibition of bloviating ineptitude; a genuine, Grade-A clusterfuck. Oh. To put a cherry on top? The President of the United States went on a late-night talk show and made a joke about retards.And he's supposed to be the smart one.
So let's talk about the Pope instead. Pope Benedict XVI caused a brouhaha last week when he arrived on his first papal visit to Africa. Asked by a reporter about condoms, the pontiff said “If the soul is lacking, if Africans do not help one another, the scourge cannot be resolved by distributing condoms; quite the contrary, we risk worsening the problem."
Right. In other words, just as bears really do shit in the woods, the pope, shockingly, is Catholic. Why is anyone surprised by this? Look, the man isn't saying he wants people to have unprotected sex. He doesn't think anyone who isn't married should have any sex at all. (See above, re: Pope/Catholic. ) You can agree or disagree with the perspective, but it isn't exactly a stunning, new idea.
The governments of France, Germany, however, immediately denounced the pontiff. Spanish officials pledged to send one million condoms to Africa. Belgian health minister Laurette Onkelinx said Pope Benedict’s comments were a "dangerous doctrinaire vision."
The US intelligentsia concurred. "The Pope deserves no credence,” sniffed the New York Times. Writing in the Washington Post, professor Robert S. McElvaine called for the pontiff to be impeached, which is not even possible. McElvaine, who described himself as Catholic, also wrote "the idea that such a man is God's spokesperson on earth is absurd to me."
Dude. Are you sure that you're a Catholic? Because that right there is practically the definition of Protestant.
Of course, most of those who decried the pope's message probably didn't read what he said all that closely. The solution to the problem of HIV/AIDS in Africa, Benedict avowed, demands a commitment to "the humanization of sexuality. " The pontiff also called for a larger "spiritual and human renewal" that would bring about a more humane society.
The standard line seems to be the pope is foolish for saying so because "people are going to have sex anyway." Condom advocates (including whoever in Spain gets that contract for a million condoms) say that some people will always have random, unprotected sex no matter what the pope says. Which is true, but a dumb argument. It's also true that people will always drive faster than the speed limit. That doesn't mean cops shouldn't hand out speeding tickets.
Look, having sex isn't like a flood or a lightning strike. Despite what every cheating partner in human history has declared, sex doesn't ever "just happen." At some point, the parties must make a conscious choice to bump uglies. The idea that human beings, even teenagers, are somehow physically incapable of keeping themselves from going at it like rabbits demonstrates a pretty piss-poor opinion of humanity. It is also factually incorrect. Many, many teenage boys, for instance, manage to abstain from sex throughout high school using a technique known as "acne."
In Africa though, sadly, choice doesn't always play into it. One papal critic noted that a typical AIDS-infected woman in Africa is a "wife," meaning a woman sold into marriage as a teenage virgin to a much older man. He has many partners and won't wear condoms.
Whether that's actually "typical" or not is hard to say, but even assuming it's true, it's not a very good argument against the pope's message. We are talking about places where young women are basically sold as slaves to the highest bidder, and live their whole lives in servitude. How, exactly, is sending them rubbers no one will wear going to help?
Funny, it doesn't seem like the pope would consider this blog an ally on any social issue. But it sounds like a "humanization of sexuality" wouldn't be such a bad idea.
