What gentleman wouldn't be proud to display this stunning work in his home? Tasteful and understated, it's bound to be a babe-magnet and, at a mere $180.00 it's a bargain at twice the price.
Friday, August 29, 2008
E-BAY STUFF WE WON'T BE BIDDING ON, Vol. 2
What gentleman wouldn't be proud to display this stunning work in his home? Tasteful and understated, it's bound to be a babe-magnet and, at a mere $180.00 it's a bargain at twice the price.
Things That Never Get Old: Making fun of the French.
Some things in life you can always count on. Women look good in short skirts and high heels. Cold beer tastes good on a hot day. The French are lame. You know, the classics. This has already been fantastic summer for France-bashers, and the Grind has no reservations about piling on. Here's our look at the Top 5 biggest French losses of 2008. So far.
5. Tennis player Fabrice Santoro
With his first-round US Open match all but won, American Andy Roddick was serving to Santoro and the crowd was calling for Roddick to hit 140mph on the radar gun. The future Mr. Brooklyn Decker uncorked a beauty that sent Santoro diving for cover. After sardonically applauding the serve, Santo then refused to step to the baseline, essentially conceding the point and the match. (Yes, a Frenchman surrendered, which is usually something they do in wartime) After the match, Santoro offered a lame, half-assed threat about Roddick's serve being the "worst mistake" he ever made. Yeah, Andy! Try that again and Fabrice will refuse to play for a whole set. That'll teach you.
4. Euro Cup 2008
An early favorite to win the Cup, the French National Team barely escaped with a 0-0 tie in a first-rounder against weak sister Romania, then got blasted by Holland and Italy for an early trip home. Then again, what can you expect from a country who's national mascot is the chicken?
3. The whole dang Tour de France
This year's winner of the disgraced long-distance bike race, Carlos Sastre, hails from Spain. The top five was rounded out by three more Spaniards, an Austrian and a guy from Luxemburg. (Luxemburg! )The top French finisher, Sandy Casar, rolled in at 14th overall. Listen guys, when the event is named after your country and you still can't even crack the top ten, it's time to pick a new national sport. Like soccer. Oh wait….Nevermind.
2. French Basketball
The French national team didn't qualify for the Olympics. Man, when you have a three-time NBA champion (who's married to Eva Longoria) on your team and can't even make the Olympics, that's bad. Iran made the Olympics, guys. Angola made the Olympics and nobody is even sure that Angola is a real country.
1. Swimmer Alain Bernard
In Beijing, the French swimmer decided to talk trash about the American team . "The Americans? We're going to smash them," he said. "That's what we came here for."
Really, Alain? 'Cause it looked more like you came to get schooled by Jason Lezak, who swam the fastest split ever in the anchor leg of 400-meter freestyle relay to erase your body-length lead and win the gold for the USA -- by all of .08 seconds. Next time, maybe don't trim your fingernails before a big meet.
DRINK O' THE DAY
Sex on the Beach1 1/2 oz. peach schnapps
1 1/2 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Cranberry Juice
2 oz. Orange Juice
2 oz. Pineapple Juice
Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well, then strain into an ice-filled highball glass. Garnish with a wedge of lime.
Today in Sex (08/29/08)
David Duchovny enters rehab for sex addiction
David Duchovny, who plays a sex-obsessed character on Showtime's "Californication," has entered a rehab facility for sex addiction. In a statement released Thursday by his lawyer, the former X-Files star said he entered the clinic voluntarily. Just a shot in the dark here, but we'd guess that "voluntarily" actually means "his wife made him do it." Best of luck, Dave. Have you tried one of these?
Edwards Crying All the Way to the Bank
No sex addiction rehab for former presidential candidate John Edwards. Weeks after he admitted to cheating on his sick wife, Edwards is speaking in public again-- and his fee has gone up. Edwards is scheduled to speak at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign on Oct. 14, and his agent told the group organizing the event that the former VP candidate is charging more for appearances these days. $65,000 to be exact. This isn’t the first time Edwards has come under fire for high speaking fees. In 2006, the former North Carolina senator was paid $55,000 to speak at the University of California-Davis. The speech was on, wait for it, poverty. Oh, the irony.
Same-Sex Ban Bombing
According to a new poll by the Public Policy Institute of California, a majority of voters oppose Proposition 8, a constitutional amendment that would make same-sex marriages illegal again in California. Quick question: If gay marriage is made illegal, does that mean that Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will have to return all those wedding gifts? Because, you know, we spent a lot of time picking out that toaster oven
Sacked in the Sack
A poll on the website Areyouromantic.com asked NFL fans if their favorite team's performance on the field effects their performance in the bedroom. The study found nearly 30 percent of men think sex is better after their team wins. Ten percent admitted their performance suffers after their team loses. This is bad news for Kansas City and Atlanta fans, who will have good sex, at most, five times this season.
David Duchovny, who plays a sex-obsessed character on Showtime's "Californication," has entered a rehab facility for sex addiction. In a statement released Thursday by his lawyer, the former X-Files star said he entered the clinic voluntarily. Just a shot in the dark here, but we'd guess that "voluntarily" actually means "his wife made him do it." Best of luck, Dave. Have you tried one of these?
Edwards Crying All the Way to the Bank
No sex addiction rehab for former presidential candidate John Edwards. Weeks after he admitted to cheating on his sick wife, Edwards is speaking in public again-- and his fee has gone up. Edwards is scheduled to speak at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign on Oct. 14, and his agent told the group organizing the event that the former VP candidate is charging more for appearances these days. $65,000 to be exact. This isn’t the first time Edwards has come under fire for high speaking fees. In 2006, the former North Carolina senator was paid $55,000 to speak at the University of California-Davis. The speech was on, wait for it, poverty. Oh, the irony.
Same-Sex Ban Bombing
According to a new poll by the Public Policy Institute of California, a majority of voters oppose Proposition 8, a constitutional amendment that would make same-sex marriages illegal again in California. Quick question: If gay marriage is made illegal, does that mean that Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will have to return all those wedding gifts? Because, you know, we spent a lot of time picking out that toaster oven
Sacked in the Sack
A poll on the website Areyouromantic.com asked NFL fans if their favorite team's performance on the field effects their performance in the bedroom. The study found nearly 30 percent of men think sex is better after their team wins. Ten percent admitted their performance suffers after their team loses. This is bad news for Kansas City and Atlanta fans, who will have good sex, at most, five times this season.
Ana Goes Down!
No. 1 Ana Ivanovic suffered a stunning upset at US Open last night.Our fave, Ana Ivanovic of Serbia lost to No. 188(!) in the world Julie Coin of France in the second round of the US Open. This is the earliest a women's No. 1 seed has ever lost in the Open era. Ouch.
She's still hot, though.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"Then paint some happy little trees..."
Painting the Mona Lisa in .000000008 of a second.
In a presentation made at this week's Nvidia's NVISION trade show, Adam and Jamie from the TV show "Mythbusters" unveiled a 2,100 barrel paintball gun. Yes, 2,100 barrels. They used the beast to create a pretty decent replica of the DaVinci's masterpiece Mona Lisa - in, like, billionth of second. Or something like that.
Forget the smiley face that starts the clip. Skip to 1:25 minute mark.
Tip of the hat to Engadjet
In a presentation made at this week's Nvidia's NVISION trade show, Adam and Jamie from the TV show "Mythbusters" unveiled a 2,100 barrel paintball gun. Yes, 2,100 barrels. They used the beast to create a pretty decent replica of the DaVinci's masterpiece Mona Lisa - in, like, billionth of second. Or something like that.
Forget the smiley face that starts the clip. Skip to 1:25 minute mark.
Tip of the hat to Engadjet
E-BAY STUFF WE WON'T BE BIDDING ON, Vol. 1
Yes, it's a chastity belt. Yes, it's stainless steel. And, yes, it's for dudes.
New Court Goddess
The Olympics are over, meaning we can longer leer at Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor while pretending to care about beach volleyball. Luckily, there's the US Open. Because women's tennis rocks. Seriously. And not just for the obvious reasons.
Sure, women's tennis is a steady source of eye candy, especially for men who prefer athletic bodies to that skin-and-bones-with-silicon chic that passes for beauty in Hollywood. But women's tennis is also darn good television. It's that rarest of spectator sports -- one that's more entertaining to watch than its male counterpart. (The slower serves from women make for more serve-and-volley play, which in turn makes for longer, better rallies.)
But with Anna Kournikova retired, Maria Sharapova injured, and the Williams sisters old news, tennis was lacking a poster girl for 2008. That changed when dishy Ana Ivanovic won the 2008 French Open, becoming the world's new No. 1 player and, not incidentially, Playboy.com's new on-court fave. For the next two weeks, we'll be following the 20-year old Serbian beauty at Flushing Meadows; both to see if she can add a U.S. Open to her Grand Slam résumé and also because she looks dynamite in a little white dress.
Sure, women's tennis is a steady source of eye candy, especially for men who prefer athletic bodies to that skin-and-bones-with-silicon chic that passes for beauty in Hollywood. But women's tennis is also darn good television. It's that rarest of spectator sports -- one that's more entertaining to watch than its male counterpart. (The slower serves from women make for more serve-and-volley play, which in turn makes for longer, better rallies.)
But with Anna Kournikova retired, Maria Sharapova injured, and the Williams sisters old news, tennis was lacking a poster girl for 2008. That changed when dishy Ana Ivanovic won the 2008 French Open, becoming the world's new No. 1 player and, not incidentially, Playboy.com's new on-court fave. For the next two weeks, we'll be following the 20-year old Serbian beauty at Flushing Meadows; both to see if she can add a U.S. Open to her Grand Slam résumé and also because she looks dynamite in a little white dress.
When can we stop pretending...
That political conventions are important?
It doesn't matter which party you support, the donkey or the elephant, political conventions suck. Out loud. Okay, Obama is a good speaker. But, generally, watching these relics of the 19th Century is only slightly less interesting than hearing Spencer Pratt discuss French Symbolist poetry. How bad is it? At some point in last night's convention coverage, supposedly intelligent broadcasters were discussing, in all seriousness, how Hillary chose the color of her pantsuit. Because, you know, it's important to America.
That's why the Hutch supports Jib-Jab. Whether you're voting for the Inexperienced, Pinko-Blame-America-First Democratm or the Old, Intolerant, Imperialist, Right-Wing Republican, Jib-Jab knows you're mostly full of crap.
It doesn't matter which party you support, the donkey or the elephant, political conventions suck. Out loud. Okay, Obama is a good speaker. But, generally, watching these relics of the 19th Century is only slightly less interesting than hearing Spencer Pratt discuss French Symbolist poetry. How bad is it? At some point in last night's convention coverage, supposedly intelligent broadcasters were discussing, in all seriousness, how Hillary chose the color of her pantsuit. Because, you know, it's important to America.
That's why the Hutch supports Jib-Jab. Whether you're voting for the Inexperienced, Pinko-Blame-America-First Democratm or the Old, Intolerant, Imperialist, Right-Wing Republican, Jib-Jab knows you're mostly full of crap.
DRINK O' THE DAY
Spirits:1 part Vodka
1 part Orange Liqueur
1 part Rum
1 part Champagne
Mixers:
2.5 parts Orange Juice
Garnish:
Orange Slice
Mix the vodka, orange liqueur and rum in a shaker with lots of ice. Strain into an ice-filed pint glass. Add three parts fresh orange juice and top with champagne. Stir gently and garnish with an orange slice.
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