Some things in life you can always count on. Women look good in short skirts and high heels. Cold beer tastes good on a hot day. The French are lame. You know, the classics. This has already been fantastic summer for France-bashers, and the Grind has no reservations about piling on. Here's our look at the Top 5 biggest French losses of 2008. So far.
5. Tennis player Fabrice Santoro
With his first-round US Open match all but won, American Andy Roddick was serving to Santoro and the crowd was calling for Roddick to hit 140mph on the radar gun. The future Mr. Brooklyn Decker uncorked a beauty that sent Santoro diving for cover. After sardonically applauding the serve, Santo then refused to step to the baseline, essentially conceding the point and the match. (Yes, a Frenchman surrendered, which is usually something they do in wartime) After the match, Santoro offered a lame, half-assed threat about Roddick's serve being the "worst mistake" he ever made. Yeah, Andy! Try that again and Fabrice will refuse to play for a whole set. That'll teach you.
4. Euro Cup 2008
An early favorite to win the Cup, the French National Team barely escaped with a 0-0 tie in a first-rounder against weak sister Romania, then got blasted by Holland and Italy for an early trip home. Then again, what can you expect from a country who's national mascot is the chicken?
3. The whole dang Tour de France
This year's winner of the disgraced long-distance bike race, Carlos Sastre, hails from Spain. The top five was rounded out by three more Spaniards, an Austrian and a guy from Luxemburg. (Luxemburg! )The top French finisher, Sandy Casar, rolled in at 14th overall. Listen guys, when the event is named after your country and you still can't even crack the top ten, it's time to pick a new national sport. Like soccer. Oh wait….Nevermind.
2. French Basketball
The French national team didn't qualify for the Olympics. Man, when you have a three-time NBA champion (who's married to Eva Longoria) on your team and can't even make the Olympics, that's bad. Iran made the Olympics, guys. Angola made the Olympics and nobody is even sure that Angola is a real country.
1. Swimmer Alain Bernard
In Beijing, the French swimmer decided to talk trash about the American team . "The Americans? We're going to smash them," he said. "That's what we came here for."
Really, Alain? 'Cause it looked more like you came to get schooled by Jason Lezak, who swam the fastest split ever in the anchor leg of 400-meter freestyle relay to erase your body-length lead and win the gold for the USA -- by all of .08 seconds. Next time, maybe don't trim your fingernails before a big meet.
