Hatin' On... The Pundits of 2008

We live in a nation of experts. Every day we see studies from scientists and sociologists whose main conclusion is that they need more grant money. Mass media is a daily deluge of pundits whose main skill is sounding good on TV and radio. Today, with the help of Foreign Policy we are Hatin' On all the experts who make living by saying stuff because it sounds good. Check out how wrong these authorities can be.

Here's a little gem from BusinessWeek, on Jan. 2, 2008, “New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg will enter the Presidential race in February, after it becomes clear which nominees will get the nod from the major parties.” A short while later, Bloomberg announced he was again running for mayor.

Think your bowl picks have been bad? Sunday, Dec. 17, 2006, William Kristol said this on Fox News; "Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single Democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.”

If you think about it, Kristol was technically right. Obama didn't beat Clinton in a single primary. He beat her in many of them.

And who could forget p with Jim Cramer's now infamous response to a viewer email on CNBC’s Mad Money. March 11, 2008, Cramer screamed "Bear Stearns is fine! Do not take your money out!" March 16, the company was toast.

Hard though is to belive, just because someone is on television or writes opinion columns in the newspaper, they don't nessessarily know what they are talking about. Writing for a newspaper, for instance, just means you are a good at writing. That is, stringing words together in a way that people enjoy reading does not necessary offer any special insight into human nature -- yours truly included. As to being on television, that requires loads of ambition, a willingness to self-promote and the ability to project personality on camera. Again, there is a question of correlation. What's the connection between being telegenic and actually having a clue about life? The two seem tangentially related at best.

Maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on pundits. Even smart people can make mistakes. Like Bill Gates. January 2004, at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, Bill Gates declared that spam would be dead in 24 months. You might have noticed, it hasn't quite worked out that way. Bill Gates will be dead before spam is.

Celebratin'... The Rolling Stones

Before Keith Richards was the model for Captain Jack Sparrow and Mick Jagger was a jetsetting CEO, the Rolling Stones were a rock band. They were the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World when no one else even thought to claim the title.


Here the Stones are at their menacing peak, playing Paris in the wild days of 1967.


At the silliest depths of psychedelic era, this is the original promotional video for "2000 Light Years From Home," off the uneven, but dazzlingly inventive "Their Satanic Majesties Request" album.



It's easy to claim that the band's best works was behind them once Ronnie Wood joined. But the Stones of the 70's and 80's were writing great songs as well as having big hit. One of the bean's most underrated record, "Steel Wheels" came out in 1991. This lovely and sad musing on mortality, "Slipping Away" is one of the record's two Keith songs.

If you think that "everything is on the internet, we dare you find footage from Bill Wyman's mid-70's solo project "Monkey Grip," with high-profile players like Dallas Taylor, Dr. John and Leon Russell. There's a bluegrass song on the disc in which the word "pussy" is sung approximately 400 times. The song is entitled, not surprisingly "Pussy." Here's a link to it on Rhapsody. I you're not a subscriber, you can at least hear a clip and get the gist.

LOL: Duck!

This vid from CollegeHumor gave us an inspiration to delve into the world of duck humor. It'll make sense after you watch it.

"We love you more because we picked you!"

This giant duck was part of "Loire Estuary 2007", an outdoor, contemporary-art exhibition in France

"Don't do it! You have so much to live for!"

This is broken.

Textual Healing 01.02.2008

Three men promised to stun revelers with outlandish stunts on New Year's Eve, but only two came through. Rhys Millen, 36, attempted to drive a truck through a back flip at the Rio. The truck twisted midair, causing it to roll on landing. Robbie Knievel, son of Evil, successfully jumped the Mirage Volcano. But the night belonged to Robbie Madison, who soared 96 feet into the air to land on the Las Vegas version of the Arc de Triomphe, then free-fell more than 50 feet before hitting the ramp to end the jump.

This is Textual Healing, so we ought to say something grandly inspirational about humanity's longing to forever push the limits of experience. A deep thinker might note that the daredevil, as an object of fame, is a strange symbol of what society holds dear. That we reward those who publically risk death and dismembermet for glory says something profound and a little disturbing about how we see the world. But the Grind, thankfully, has no deep thinkers on staff. All we can muster when confronted by a deed of such massive testicular fortitude is something along the lines of, "Whoa. Dude... Man... Whoa...Dude."



Paul Krugman, in his never-ending quest to write about anything but economics, delivers a comically simplistic explanation for everything that has gone wrong in America. Yup, it's the Republicans' fault. Because all Republicans are racist.

"Forty years ago the G.O.P. decided, in effect, to make itself the party of racial backlash," he says without explaining what he means. "Everything that has happened in recent years" is a consequence of that decision."

To support this contention, Krugman pulls a 1981 quote from Republican strategist Lee Atwater. "In 1981 Lee Atwater, the famed Republican political consultant, explained the evolution of the G.O.P.’s 'Southern strategy." Here's the quote:

“You’re getting so abstract now you’re talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you’re talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is blacks get hurt worse than whites.”

Huh? What does that even mean? Your guess is as good as ours. But from that single line, a wildly out-of-context fragment of a statement delivered over 25 years ago, Krugman concludes that the GOP's distrust of big government is all racially motivated. Republicans don't like big government, he says, not for any genuine concerns about high taxes or intrusion into people's lives, but because it government "takes your money and gives it to Those People."

No one could have any other reason for voting GOP? Ever? Not one? There isn't a a single voter who, even once, voted for lower taxes because, for instance, he wanted to keep more of his own money?

Of course, Republicans are racist. So are Democrats and Independents. Everybody; white, black, red, yellow or brown, is racist in some way. We live in a racist world, unfortunately. But suggesting that all of modern conservatism, from Buckley to Reagan and beyond, exists solely as a plot to keep the back man down is offensive and absurd. This kind of wanton invective poisons our political discourse and is just the pointless demonizing we hoped would go out of style with incoming of a new administration. It's not only unkind to write that all Republicans hate black people, after all, it is patently untrue. Millions of them voted for one in the last election.

The other New York Times editorial has David Brooks celebrating the year's best essays. (Everyone gets one year-end retrospective, we suppose, and this is his.) Brooks especially likes a story by Michael Lewis that appeared in Portfolio. The piece describes two financial analysts, Meredith Whitney and Steve Eisman, who knew early the U.S. financial system was in trouble. This makes want to pay very, very close attention to whatever Whitney and Eisman say next. The story also questions why the people who shouldn't get jobs on Wall Street so often do. Lewis asks, "Was there ever any correlation between the ability to get in and out of Princeton and a talent for taking financial risk?”

We'll go with "No".

JockSniffing: 01.02.2008

We are more confused than amused by this Deadspin item. It seems a right proper English newspaper did a story about the two Indians (dot, not feather) who were signed by the Pittsburgh Pirates after a talent search on the subcontinent . Nothing wrong there. But the paper made a very, very strange language choice for their healdine. Is there some part of the known universe where the word "Spearchucker" isn't offensive? Besides, that is, Korea in the 1950's.

During yesterday's Gator Bowl between Nebraska and Clemson, we couldn't help but notice Willy Korn's uniform. The sidelined Clemson quarterback was wearing a jersey with the "R" in his name backwards. That is, his shirt read "KOЯN," like the Grammy-winning hardcore metal band. Did anyone else see this? Doesn't the NCAA have some kind of clothing police, like the NFL, to make sure players don't get to have any fun? We dropped a note to Paul Lukas over at Uniwatch and will keep you updated as this vital story develops. Or not.

By the way, Clemson lost the game. The Cornhuskers scored 20 points in the third quarter, giving Nebraska their first bowl win under first-year head coach Bo Pelini. In other bowl news, Southern Cal crushed Penn State in the Rose Bowl. In the FedEx Orange Bowl, Cincinnati couldn't score inside the five late in their loss to Virginia Tech. Georgia's Matthew Stafford threw three touchdowns in the second half of the Capital One Bowl to give the Bulldogs a 24-12 victory over Michigan State, meaning the Big Ten's only win was when Iowa beat South Carolina, 31-10. The win added fuel to rumors that Iowa's coach, Kirk Ferentz will leave college coaching for Cleveland, to take over the Browns. Another mistake by the lake.


Via AlanaG on Yardbarker comes this time-lapse footage of preparations for yesterday's NHL game at Wrigley Field.

GearMania: Beer Chaser

What's worse than setting down your beer at a party and not being able to find it a few minutes later? Lots of stuff, actually. War, disease, famine. But who cares about them right now? We are concerned with the devilish problem of runaway beers. This ingenious device solves it forever -- or at least until the batteries run out. Just click the Beer Pager remote. Flashing lights and a series of big, loud burps help you track down any lost beverage

Of course, if you get drunk enough to lose your beer, you are probably also drunk enough to lose the remote control, so keep it on your keychain. If you lose your keychain, that's how you know it's time to stop drinking.

BabeWatch... Happy January!

What better way to start the new year than with January? January Jones, that is. She plays the tormented and beautiful Betty Draper on AMC's Mad Men. In real life, the one-time Abercrombie & Fitch model is just plain beautiful.

Today in Sex 1.02.2009

Charles Barkley was on his way to an "amorous encounter" when he was arrested for DUI in Scottsdale, AZ., says TheSmokingGun. When a police officer asked the 45-year-old Basketball Hall of Famer what his hurry was, Barkley replied: "You want the truth?" and said he, "was gonna drive around the corner to get a blow job." Barkley also apparently offered to have the arresting officer's name "tattooed on my butt" in exchange for being let off DUI charges.

Dude, you are a millionaire, jet-setting, superstar athlete. Tattoo space on your posterior is about the last thing you have that anyone would want. The next time you try to bribe a police officer, start with something a little more basic -- like cash.

Futurist magazine says we're all going to be having more sex in 2009. The reason is that women's growing economic power will give them more choices, and one of those choices will be to have more sex.

This, in a nutshell, is why sexual liberation is a good thing. The more power and freedom that women have, the more sex men will get. It's a win-win, people.

The Jewish Daily Forward has a story on transgender rabbis, like Reuben Zellman; the first openly transgender applicant to the Reform movement’s Hebrew Union College. The piece quotes transgender activists saying that not all transgender people have had sexual reassignment surgery or take hormones. Many, say activists, do not "opt for the medical route," but "choose other ways of altering their gender identity, like changing their name and appearance."

Wow. Just dressing like a member of the opposite sex is enough to qualify someone as transgender. Who knew? We are old enough to remember when women who look, sound, dress and act like men had a different name. Back in the day, we just called them "female gym teachers."

Kathy Griffin made a fellatio joke on live TV. The D-List comic was hosting a New Year's Eve countdown show with Anderson Cooper when someone in the crowd started heckling her. While Cooper sent viewers off to a commercial break and the shot changed, Griffin was clearly audible in the background suggesting that the heckler enjoys the company of men in an intimate way.



We are going to resist the urge to make a joke about Anderson Cooper.

Celebratin'... 2009!

What are you still online for? Happy Hogmany! Now go get drunk. We'll see you next year.

Textual Healing 12.31.2008

It's already 2009 in the land Down Under. Check out these fireworks exploding over Sydney Harbour.

REUTERS/Tim Wimborne

The New York Times has a decent editorial on the future of the Department and Defense under Obama. The story concentrates on Jointness and Transformation, which aren't nearly as fun as they sound.

The Chicago Sun Times is still bleating about Bloggo. Is it okay if this story is starting to bore us? We get it. Illinois politics = dirty. Check.

The New York Post explains, you know, that New York's mayor, you know, says Caroline Kennedy should, you know, be a senator even

Hatin' On... People Who Wildly Over-Simplify What Gay Marriage Means

First, opposing gay marriage is not the same as discriminating against homosexuals. Whatever your thoughts on gay marriage, it's important to look beyond the idea that everyone on the other side is either a hate-mongering fundamentalist fanatic or, conversely, a pervert bent on destroying Western Civilization. You can oppose gay marriage without hating gay people. You can be for gay marriage without being sinful.

Gays, of course, deserve all the protections any US citizen is promised by the Constitution. But the legal and social benefits of marriage are clearly not "rights" as the Constitution describes them. They are extra benefits our society awards married couples for largely symbolic reasons. That is, American society rewards marriage because we have, thus far, found the one-man/one-woman nuclear family the most socially useful.

Certainly, gay couples can be a socially productive as straight ones. However, gay couples cannot, by definition procreate. (That isn't to say that gay couples don't make wonderful parents. Many do. Mostly likely, the percentage of gay people who make good parents is exactly the same as the percentage of straights who do-- very, very low.)

But taking procreation out of the equation does, like it or not, change the meaning of marriage. Society will essentially be rewarding couplehood, rather than parenthood. That is, we will not be rewarding the family unit, but the romantic ideal of marriage; the idea of two people bound by sexual love in what our therapeutic culture likes to call "a relationship." Which is fine, if that's what we collectively decide.

But ultimately the question becomes why couples of any sexual orientation deserve more rights than singles? Single people like to adopt kids, too. Single people like to share their health insurance and pensions with loved ones. If we give all the benefits of marriage to any two people that love each other, regardless of gender, why should we only reward sexual love?

Suppose that two lifelong friends, older men, want to formalize a domestic partnership to save money on food, housing and medication. Society has no good cause to deny them. Does a sexual relationship between two men deserve more social sanction than a nonsexual one? If so, why? And what does that say about us?

We don't have all the answers. (Today.) But at least we are thinking hard about the questions without a bunch of name-calling. It would be nice if the country as a whole could do a bit more of that.

LOL: The Biggest Party of the Year

Worried about not having a good time tonight? At least you aren't the guys in this Cracked video.

The Saddest New Years Party Ever

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. ~Mark Twain

Sure, 2008 wasn't the best of all possible years,
but at least nuclear missiles didn't launch themselves,
like back in 2000.

BabeWatch... Dirty Sexy Canceled

Actor Blair Underwood says that, although there has been no official announcement, "Dirty Sexy Money" has been canceled. "As far as I'm concerned, we're not doing any more shows," Underwood told E! Online. "ABC officially doesn't want to use the C-word -- canceled -- but we're not on the schedule."

Okay, we are going to ignore the fact that Underwood thinks that canceled is "the C-word," and lament the loss of his show. True, "Dirty Sexy Money" started as a interesting drama about the power of wealth to corrupt, but came back after the writers' strike as a soap opera with no moral center. That doesn't mean we won't miss it's panoply of fabulous babes.

"Lisa George," lost her way as a character,
but the actress who played her, Zoe McClellan
never made a false move.




























Natalie Zea, the delightfully spoiled brat, Karen.
























Lucy Liu showed up in the second season as a seductress/dragon lady/heroine/lawyer. She wasn't that believable. But, really, who cares?



Samaire Armstrong played a Paris Hilton-like daughter who disappeared by the second season. Too bad the real Paris won't do the same.

JockSniffing 12.31.2008

It's athletes driving badly day! Well, okay. We can't really say Danica Patrick was arrested for bad driving. But the 26-year-old IndyCar star and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model does seem to have a leadfoot off the track as well as on it. She's gotten six speeding tickets in the last three years. We're guessing she's also flirted her way out of a few more.

Charles Barkley couldn't flirt is way out of a paper bag. That, along with being too dumb to call a cab, is why the former Round Mound of Rebound was arrested on charges of drunk driving. So now Charles can add "drunk driver" to his resume, along with problem gambler, aspiring Governor of Alabama, and NBA color-man who's totally disinterested in most of the the games he's paid to watch.











Is Craig Sager's tie melting? Is Gilbert Arenas wearing a dickie? These questions and more are what Leave the Man alone answers with his fantabulous list of sports personalities showing off their holiday finery. This celebration of gay apparel s exemplary sports bloggery -- completely useless, more than little snarky and undeniably fun.














We take it back. This is the reason spots blogs exist -- Simon on Sports with a totally random discussion of which college football conference is best based on which one sends the most players to the NFL playoffs.

GearMania: Sip/Tuck

Nothing takes the edge off a cold wind more than a nip off the old pocket flask. You can use them when shoveling snow, sneaking whiskey into a football game or just nurturing an alcohol addiction over your lunch break. With this pretty little flask, you can nurture other addictions as well. The side compartment will hold a evening's worth of cigarettes. Or joints. Or cocaine and Oxycontin. Or whatever it is that you need to keep hidden, but close at hand.

Today in Sex 12.31.2008

An well-known adult film actress was sentenced Monday in U.S. District Court in Eugene to six months in federal prison for tax evasion. Janine M. James, known as Janine Lindemulder, has until March 10 to report to prison, assistant U.S. Attorney Chris Cardani said. James pleaded guilty in August to willfully failing to pay nearly $300,000 in outstanding federal taxes on income she earned while working in adult films. James did not make any federal tax payments between 2000 and 2006. During that time, she spent more than $750,000 on lifestyle items and purchased a 2,200-square-foot home.

Who knew porn starts made that much money? We're going to take a wild guess and say that Janine will not enjoy her time in a prison as much as the girls in "Babes Behind Bars, Vol. 23"

A Washington lobbyist is suing The New York Times over an article that she says gave the false impression she had an affair with Sen. John McCain . Vicki L. Iseman filed the $27 million defamation suit in U.S. District Court on Tuesday. It also names as defendants the Times' executive editor, its Washington bureau chief and four reporters. The Times reported that McCain aides once worried the relationship between Iseman and McCain had turned romantic.

Let's see if we have got this straight: The Times reported that aides to McCain "once worried" the relationship turned romantic? First, that ain't reporting. It's called "rumor-mongering." Secondly, it sounds like McCain's aides need a refresher course of the meaning of the word "aid."

Britney Spears spent Christmas with Bollywood dance instructor Sandip Soparrkar. The 27-year-old singer sparked rumors there is more to her relationship with Sandip after spending the festive holiday with him in his home country of India.

Britney's in love again. How long until she puts a red dot on her forehead and calls herself a Hindu? We'll give it a week.

JockSniffing 12.30.2008

Sports? Well, there are college bowl games galore. There's the NBA and NCAA basketball, plus a little NHL, too. We even saw some Ultimate Fighting that kept our attention, though we wouldn't hazard a guess as to the names of the fighters. But today belongs to the NFL. With the league's annual game of coaches' musical chairs in full swing, we wanted to keep you updated of the goings-on without having to sit through an hour of Trey Wingo.

So... Ready? Okay. Here we go.

The NFL Network reports that the Detroit Lions' will interview Vikings defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier, Dallas Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett and Washington Redskins secondary coach, Jerry Gray for their vacant head coaching job. The Associated Press adds that Detroit wants to talk with New York Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo and Tennessee Titans defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz about the job.

NFL.com's Adam Schefter quotes the elusive "many around the league" who believe that the St. Louis Rams' next head coach will be Ravens defensive coordinator, Rex Ryan. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, however, says that Winston Moss, Green Bay Packers' assistant, is the Rams' prime candidate. "League sources" told the Post-Dispatch that the team is expected to interview for the job sometime this week.

Newsday's Bob Glauber reports that Marty Schottenheimer has attended several New York Jets games in recent weeks, and suggests Marty could be on the Jets radar for their head-coaching position. Then again, Marty could have just been visiting his son, current Jets assistants Brian Schottenheimer. Sportswriter Dave Hutchinson says the Jets have interest in Giants' defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, Vikings defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier and Jaguars assistant Mike Tice. According to a report by ESPN's John Clayton, Bill Cowher will not take the job. Clayton cited "multiple sources," saying the Jets reached out to Cowher, but the former Steelers coach wants more control over personnel than the team is willing to give.

The Cleveland Browns are talking about hiring Eric Mangini, just fired from the Jets. That might mean Romeo Crenell would stay on as a defensive coordinator, which would totally be weird. Anyway the Browns need leadsership in the front office before they get a new coach.

Oh, did we mention that Mike Shanahan got canned in Denver?

Also, Bill Parcells is hinting that he wants to coach. Again.

Phew! Who'd we miss?

LOL: Weird Filmland (Drugs, Sex and Nuclear War)

It's fun to laugh at old movies, especially because the people in them are dead so they can't get mad at you for laughing. We've culled some gems from the recent and not-so-recent past for your kitschy and ironic approval.


"Co-Ed Secrets" is the kind of film that guys in the late 50's would have watched at a "stag" party. Today, the film is practically SFW. My, how times have changed. Watch for the scene at the end where the "sorority girl" flashes her paddle to the camera. The Greek letters (roughly) correspond with S-E-X.



An all-time classic, "Duck and Cover" was an official Civil Defense film from 1951 that tells kids to survive a nuclear attack by hiding behind a tree.



This anti-drug educational film, "Drugs Are Like That" was made in the 1979 and narrated by famed prude, Anita Bryant. In the PSA, two kids discuss drugs while putting together a huge LEGO creation that becomes a metaphor for the evils of drug use. It's a perfect example of how anti-drug films of the era did a super job of making drugs seem really, really interesting to kids.

Hatin' On... People Who Don't Like "God"

Yes, "God" is in quotes for a reason. Not because the Grind would ever put sarcasm quotes
around the name of the Deity, but because the people in this story are opposed to even using the word "God," let alone accepting the idea.

The Associated Press is reporting that the California attorney who fought to remove the words "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance will join a lawsuit seeking the removal of all references to God and religion at President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration. Michael Newdow, who believes all references to God or religion are unconstitutional, wants to remove the phrase "so help me God" from the oath of office and block the invocation by Pastor Rick Warren.

The lawsuit has about as much chance as winning as that crazy stuff about Obama's birth certificate, but it still makes us mad. Newdow, along with anti-religion activists like Christopher Hitchens and Bill Marr, are guilty of unwittingly subverting the very Constitution they purport to cherish. They confuse the establishment of a state religion with any expression of public faith, leading them attack the very values the claim to hold dear.

Newdow, of course, invokes the First Amendment's "establishment clause," which says Congress "shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." He ignores the less-known second half of the sentence, "...or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. "

Of course the Federal Government can't name an official state religion, but the idea that uttering the words "so help me God" at an inauguration ceremony amounts to establishing an Official Church of the United States is laughably absurd.

More significantly, the "free exercise" clause clearly states that the government must not prevent people from practicing whatever faith they choose. Attempting to cleanse all religious language from any public arena does just that. Nobody, after all, is forcing President-elect Obama to take the oath of office with a hand on the bible. No one is forcing him to have a pastor speak. Those are Obama's decisions. If he also wanted a Rabbi, Buddhist Monk and a noted atheist to give speeches, he has that right as well.

Newdom and his supporters, perversely, want to take that right away. The lawsuit would force the government to keep Obama, and the rest of us, from the free exercise of our faith. Now, you tell us, who here seems to be for freedom?

Textual Healing 12.30.2008

The Israeli Defense Force has opened a channel on YouTube to post videos showing why they’re fighting Hamas. One of the most-viewed shows Hamas terrorists loading rockets into a truck in a residential neighborhood. Hamas supporters are using YouTube’s “flagging” feature to get the, videos removed: What YouTube Doesn’t Want You to See.

Here’s the pulled video, still available on Liveleak:




The New York Times Editorial Board weighs in on the current Gaza conflict with absolutely nothing new to say. Israel "must make every effort" to limit civilian casualties while Muslim countries should "pressure Hamas" to accept a new ease-fire. The Times blames the conflict on Israel for failing to halt settlements and goes on to suggest that Hamas, irredeemably committed to wiping out Israel, should be "pressed" by Arab states to renounce violence. Don't hold you breath waiting for that to happen.

A much more interesting Times story comes from guest columnist Judith Warner, who continues the discussion of suburbia prompted by "Revolutionary Road." In "The Lure of Opulent DesolationWarner says children born in the 60's and 70's never rebelled against the suburban life like the Baby Boomers. Having "experienced divorce or other sorts of family dislocation, " Gen X'ers don't see the comfortable, stable life depicted by"Leave it to Beaver" and "Happy Days" to be such a thing.

Anne Applebaum in the Washington Post writes about "The Greatest Speeches of All Time," a CD she gave her husband as a Christmas gift. Applebaum quibbles about a few of the disc's choices and points out that any recorded collection of speeches can't have greats like Lincoln or Cicero, but the collection still moves her to muse of the unique glory of America as expressed the words of its leaders.

Celebratin'... Obama's Golf Swing

There nothing more comforting than a leader who is attuned to the symbolic possibilities of his potential. We are thrilled to see Obama showing just such a sensitivity during the transition.

Though he appealed to the Left while campaigning, almost everything Obama has done since the election has signaled a shift to the center, or, in the case of Rick Warren, the center-right. The shift is a masterful political stroke which has cost Obama virtually no political capital while wooing those who would oppose him. Perhaps the most powerful symbol of this right-ward slide, more even than the much-debated Warren affair, is Obama's new choice of recreational sport. During his recent family vacation in Hawaii, the President-elect was photographed playing golf. Golf!

That's dramatically different from the campaign. Save for one ugly incident in a bowling alley, Obama was strongly identified with basketball throughout the campaign. Obama the candidate was constantly shown popping fifteen-footers and even taking guys off the dribble. A former Duke basketball player, Reggie Love got major press for his key role in Obama's inner-circle.

The connection made perfect sense for someone running as a champion of the underclass. Basketball is the quintessential democratic sport; not only for its association with urban areas, Obama's base, but because the structure of the game itself is inherently egalitarian. Every player on the court plays both offense and defense, every player handles the ball, and every player can score from anywhere on the court. Compare that to, say, baseball, where there pitcher handles the ball 99% of the time (No wonder Crash Davis famously called strikeouts "fascist.") or to football, which mirrors the right-wing authoritarian structure of a military unit.

Suddenly, after the election, Obama gives up shooting hoops to be seen with a putter in his hand? It's a radical shift. Golf is the archetypal game of Republican power in America. It is the game of Eisenhower and the Bush family. It is a symbol, at least for people who don't play it, of the wildly racist, sexist and classist country clubs that have nurtured American power since the turn of the last century.

For all the hue and cry over Rahm Emmanuel, Hillary and the rest of the Clinton holdovers, and for all the fuss about Rick Warren speaking at the inauguration, the clearest symbol that Obama is playing a new game is the fact that Obama is playing a new game.

GearMania: Laundry Liberation

The WonderWash may not be the coolest gadget on earth. It's not glossy and black with lots of lights and switches, but it can be a man's best friend. No longer will you have to scrounge for quarters or schlep massive loads of stinky clothes to laundromats.The WonderWash's patented pressure system washes a 5 lb. load of lundry at home in just a couple of minutes. And, because you will dramatically cut your usage of water and electricity, you can pat yourself on the back for going Green.

Today in Sex 12.30.2008

Italian Newscaster Ilaria D'Amico may be too sexy to interview David Beckham. According to a report from Marie Claire in the UK, Victoria Beckham canceled a planned interview with David. Posh searched for the Italian reporter's name online, found some hot pictures and nixed the interview.

She doesn't trust him in the same room with a hot woman even if there are cameras and crew around? Now that's what we call a healthy marriage.

FOX News has a story about the Most Ridiculously Obvious Sex Studies of 2008. Some of this year's shocking revelations include findings that attractive people get laid more oftenh and that unplanned pregnancy causes problems.

One of the these days we will get a research grant to study if water is wet. We figure it will take three years and cost around $20 million.

Bristol Palin, daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, has given birth to a son, People magazine reported Monday. Palin, 18, gave birth to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on Saturday. He weighed 7 pounds, 4 ounces. The baby and Bristol are both "doing well."

Isn't it funny how things change? Three months ago, this would have been earth-shattering news, taken by pundits to illustrate some grand theme in the 2008 election. Now it's just another baby. Do you think Jamie Lynn Spears sent a present?

A 24-year-old model and lingerie football league player draws the line at posting intimate photos online. Melissa J. Berry is suing her former boyfriend Mark C. Dawson, saying he tried to "extort, humiliate and hurt" her by posting explicit images without permission.

Wow. If you are a lingerie football player and think that naked pictures of you are humiliating, it's time to find another line of work.

BabeWatch... Drew Barrymore

TBS is playing two straight hours of "Family Guy" tonight, including an episode with Drew Barrymore as a guest voice. Barrymore is frequently on the show, including a recurring role as Brian's sometime girlfriend Jillian. Drew certainly does make for a sexy cartoon, but we'll always like her better in real life.

LOL: Traffic Jammed

We happened to be over at PYZAM checking out funny pictures when we saw saw this gem entitled "Hell on Earth." It looks more like Los Angeles to us. Anyone know for sure? That congestion is so bad, you could change a tire without losing your place in line.

Anyway, that pic got us thinking about who might have the Worst Traffic On Earth. We did a little hunting and came up with these beautiful nominees.


Welcome to fabulous Hanoi.


A Moscow traffic jam. Somewhere in that mess, there' s police car that was pinned for about 30 minutes. It's amazing how little honking is going on.


More from Russia, maybe the world's worst intersection.


How to cross the road in India. If you are freakin' insane.

AFTER YOU!
In the middle of a cold, damp night, in the middle of nowhere, two cars collide. Both of the drivers get out. One is a doctor, the other is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his cellphone then goes over to make sure that the doctor is okay. He's fine, but quite shaken up, so the lawyer pulls out a hip flask and offers the doctor of drink of brandy.

"Thank you" the doctor accepts. He takes a gulp and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his packet.

"Aren't you going to have a drink, too?" asks the doctor.

"Sure," the lawyer says, "But not until after the police get here."

Celebratin'... Mitch Hedberg

Today, we recognize the unusual comedy stylings of Mr. Mitch Hedberg. The St. Paul comedian overcame debilitating shyness to forge a cult following before, sadly, passing away in 2005. In world where Carlos Mencia makes big cash doing "Asians can't drive" jokes on TV, we need to celebrate Hedberg's unique talent and distinctive comic voice.


Hedberg's distinctive, low-key, Steven Wright-meets-Cheech-and-Chong style at it's most pure.



A classic bit, "Sesame Seeds." Wait for the wordplay at the end.



At the "Just for Laughs" festival, complete with a pre-show interview by Harland Williams. How baked does Hedberg look in this clip?



This is one of Mitch's last appearances on the Late Show. The jokes come five times than the faster than the normal Hedberg pace. He's either on something speedy or just trying to get in as many one-liners as possible. Probably both.

Hatin' On... A Nation of Winter Wusses

For those fearing the demise of the Republic, the chilling events of the last few weeks have offered ample evidence that the end is near. No, we don't mean the ever-widening web of scandals around our politicians and financial lions. We are talking about weather wimps. There's been a teensy, tiny little bit of early winter weather this year, but to hear the media, and our fellow citizens, you would think the new Ice Age has begun.

Whole cities have been paralyzed by a few inches of snow. We heard one newscaster breathlessly refer to a storm with a total accumulation of less than three inches "as a crazy blizzard." When, precisely, did a nation settled by stone-tough pioneers become a bunch of weather wimps who'll whine whenever it isn't sunny and 72? Suck it up, America. It's not that hard to put on a hat and gloves. The Grind is here to stick up for the unfairly maligned winter season; in all it's bitter, soggy glory.

First, let's start with the obvious. In winter, the world is an ashtray. Sure, it's politically incorrect to use tobacco, and even worse to admit that you cast thy butts upon the ground. But it's awesome that smokers can throw out their smokes anywhere and don’t have to worry about starting a wildfire. That's a plus.

Also, winter is responsible for most of humanity's greatest scientific advances. Heat makes people lazy. If you live in Tahiti, for example, the weather is too nice to do any more than fish and chase coconuts. Low temperatures keep the mind active, which is why virtually every great scientific advance since the fall of Rome has emerged from a culture that experiences winter.

Winter is also tremendously fun because of doughnuts. Not the kind Homer likes. The ones you do at high-speed through the magic of snow, pavement and the internal combustion engine. There's simply no better way to have fun (with your clothes on) than finding a parking lot with freshly fallen snow and playing Steve McQueen with a half-hour's worth of 180's, 360's and 720's. Incidentally, it's best to scout out parking lots before it snows, so you don't accidentally discover any medians or sewers. "Bent axel" are not words you want to hear a mechanic to say.

Critics of winter will counter, "But what about women wearing bulky clothes?"

True, in summer, women wear tank tops and miniskirts - which is one more reason why science does better in colder climates. Who can experiment with barely dressed hot ladies everywhere? Besides, whatever aesthetic advantage is gained by having sexy girls wear less clothes is offset by all the ugly people who do the same. For every taut, sun-kissed young beauty in hot pants who makes your day, there is a fat guy wearing a gravy-stained, wife-beater, showing off his thick pads of shoulder hair. Not having to see that on a daily basis is, by itself, worth a little snow.

Textual Healing 12.29.2008

In the New York Times, William Kristol gives reasons why Conservatives can rejoice at Obama's inauguration. The column includes the tidbit that the new president will be sworn in using the Lincoln Bible, the bible our sixteenth president used at his first inaugural in 1861. Also in the Times, Thomas Friedman, dismayed that SUV sales have gone up again (from a combination of low gas prices, big dealer discounts and winter weather), does his level best to sell the idea of a gasoline tax.

The Christian Science Monitor has a cool story about a couple who tried to live off a dollar's worth of food a day. The tone is preachy, but the experiment is interesting. Their poverty diet, by the way, works. Both husband and wife lost lots of weight.

With this great piece in the Wall Street Journal, Lee Siegel takes Hollywood to task for demonizing the suburbs. Specifically, he cites "Revolution Road," the new film from Sam Mendes that reunites Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. From "The Stepford Wives" (both versions), to "The Ice Storm," "Edward Scisorhands" and Mendes' own "American Beauty," Hollywood has consistently portrayed the suburbs as a destructive, even malevolent force. Think of "Poltergeist," a film in which the very existence of the suburb itself is the heinous crime for which the family must pay.

But what, the Grind wants to know, is so bad about having a house on a quiet, tree-lined street? Isn't a safe, comfortable home part of the American dream? Sure suburbs aren't that exciting. But with the nation fighting two wars and our economic well-being under threat, a little bit of boredom doesn't sound so bad.

Finally, Sophie Gilberton on the blog, Culture11, writes an elegy for the Polaroid camera. We like this one a little bit better.

JockSniffing 12.29.2008

Running back Carnell "Cadillac" Williams suffered a severe injury to his left knee late in the Buccaneers season-ending loss to the Raiders. (In 2006, of course, Williams tore a tendon in his right knee which kept him out until November 23 of this season. Now he's doubtful to contribute in 2009 and, really, his return to the NFL is in serious jeopardy.)
But Joe Henderson of the Tampa Bay Tribune says Jon Gruden could lose more than a running back. After winning his Super Bowl with a sub-par quarterback, Gruden seems unable, or unwilling, to develop a young QB that will bring the team stability, Henderson says. He thinks the Bucs need to consider "regime change." Today is Bloodbath Day in the NFL with coaches getting fired all over the country. If Gruden is canned, he would join the Detroit Lions' Rod Marinelli, the Jets' Eric "Man-genius" Mangini, Cleveland's Romeo Crennel and (probably) Herm Edwards in KC, as coaches getting canned. The Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones insists that Wade Phillips won't be joining that list.

Speaking of the Cowboys, a very bizarre story in the Dallas Morning News says that Tony Romo "collapsed" in the showers after the Cowboys loss to the Eagles. On a day when he suffered three sacks, Romo was apparently floored by pain from a rib injury. Players yelled for help and medical staff rushed in with a stretcher, but Romo got back on his feet and was helped to the trainers' room. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram said that Romo appeared to have difficulty breathing after the fall and was helped from the podium after addressing the media.

Um… Okay. We hope Tony doesn't have any serious health issues or anything, but it frankly doesn't sound like it. It sounds more like Romo was being a massive drama queen after yet another disastrous late-season performance -- one that included fumbles on two of the Cowboys' first three possessions of the second half. The Cowboys offense was nothing but sloppy yesterday, unforgivable so late in the season, with Romo and his wide-receivers continually getting mixed up on even the most basic pf pass plays. When are the Cowboys going to realize that Romo, despite his marketing-friendly zeal for being America's Quarterback, doesn't have the temperament of a championship-caliber QB?


Deadspin finishes us off with a classic, "This isn't really sports but we'll call it that" story. Here's Hope Jacoby, 23, an athletic trainer at Tustin High School in California recently arrested on suspicion of engaging in sex acts with underage student athletes. Hope, who has worked with athletes at the school for the last year, was arrested last week on suspicion of oral copulation and unlawful sex with a minor. She was busted, of course, by sending photos of herself to students via text message.

GearMania: Survival of the Coolest

Are you prepared for the collapse of human civilization? Are you ready to survive in a post-apocalyptic Hell-scape of global economic and environmental meltdown? If so, why? Do you really want to hang around when the world goes up in flames. Do you really want to survive in some cave, living on radioactive rat meat and having to burn your own crap for cooking fuel? Trust us. When the house of cards that is human civilization comes crashing down, you don't want to be here for the aftermath.

However, you still need a survival kit. Just in case your power goes out for a few days or your car breaks down in a snowstorm. Yeah, we know it’s not as much fun as being prepared for the End of Days, but it's a lot more realistic.

In a post-9/11 world, there are ample places to get superior survival kits, The Ready Store carries the kit seen here, replete with water purification tablets and a radio powered by solar or hand crank. Choosier survivalists can go to the website iPrepare.com, which has a feature for building your own kit, click-by-click. Absurdly, not even these two fine sites offer a cookbook with recipes for rat meat.