Uggs, platform sneakers, furry foots and clogs, the world has no dearth of ugly footwear. Yet Kanye West, rapper and sunglasses pioneer, has outdone them all. As the good people of SneakerFreaker.com (we love this country) inform us, new pics are out of the shoes designed by Kanye, the "Louis Vuitton Don." The kicks are supposed to be available in stores, what the kids call "drop" sometime this summer. We'll have to wait and see for your but this Don might -- just might be the ugliest shoe of all time. The pink soles, the moon-boot Velcro straps that look like they are for kids who ride the short bus, the tassel. These shoes have it all. But until Kanye's kicks drop for real we won't know for sure. In the meantime, here are some other candidates.
Notice the multicolored leather uppers that are
dyed to compliment the kitty cartoon. Fantastic.
What man wouldn't be proud to wear them?
Yes. Because nothing says "athletic ability" like a giant,
green pastry with globs of white icing. Hey, is anyone else
suddenly hungry?
Ah, what else can you say about Kobe Bryant?
Good thing his game isn't as bad as his footwear.
Historical footwear isn't our strong suit. Where would one
wear these, precisely? To a reenactment of gladiatorial
combat or more of a Medieval joust?
These boots were not made for walking. They were made by
designer Christian LaCroix, which means that at least one rich,
insane lady somewhere paid money to own a pair. Thousands
of dollars. Money well spent, we say. Good job, Imelda. Your
husband, the former investment banker, must be thrilled to
see these in your closet.
Another name designer, Alexander McQueen. We
refuse to believe that anyone, anywhere on earth
has actually purchased a pair of these shoes. We
will continue to believe so despite any and all evidence
to the contrary in a effort to keep hold of what little
faith we have in the goodness of humankind
Someone sent us these. Can't see a problem.
Okay. Forget it. We have a winner. These are the
Jordan Spizike Colorways, part of the Air Jordan Spizike
“King’s County” line, which has something to do with Spike
Lee. The shoe features a black nubuck, white patent leather,
and a yellow elephant print. Classy.
