We are still thinking about those riots in Sweden. How can anyone get so worked up about a freakin' tennis match? It's just bizarre that these people have nothing better to do with their time than protest two guys in white shorts running around and swatting at a fuzzy, little ball.On the other hand, rioting does look like an awful lot of fun; throwing stones, jumping on police cars, terrorizing people for the sake of an abstract and pointless goal. (Could someone explain how, exactly, protesting a tennis match was going to help things in the Middle East? Because we haven't quite figured that part out.)
The only downside to rioting, of course, is that a guy could get hurt, what with all those rocks and tear gas canisters flying around, willy-nilly and all. That's why we are saving up for this; the FlexForce™ Riot Control Suit from Damascus Protective Gear®. The patented FlexForce Elektrum XK8™ features hard-shell panels on the chest, back, forearms, thighs and knees, offering serious protection from blunt force trauma without sacrificing mobility and comfort. This fashionable, functional suit can be yours for the low, low, price of $599.99.
Even if you don't like riots (and what's up with that, loser?), the FlexForce makes an awesome Halloween costume. You can go as RoboCop or, with slight modifications, the guy from Tron.
The problem? You have to buy bulk to get that $599.99. price, and we are pretty sure that the minimum order is more than one. Oh, also, you really ought to be in some sort of police or military outfit to own one.
