While others debate the political ins-and-outs of the Iraq War and Health Care, the Hutch will focus laser-like on the issue that matters most: which of these women would you rather bang? Sure, all of these smart, capable ladies are married. The Hutch would never encourage anyone to break their marriage vows. But, hypothetically speaking, we have no problem debating who we'd most like to do. Because we are men. Straight men. Discussing bone-ability is what we do.
Cynthia McCain:
PROS: She's blonde (Always a plus, right Hef?) with a classic, American beach-bunny look. She's also crazy rich; heading up one of the largest Anheuser-Busch distributorships in the country. And, since her money comes from beer, she's probably keeps a well-stocked fridge.
CONS: She's too old for our tastes and seems more than a little stuffy -especially since she had to get sober. That might be good news for Americans who want dignity in a First Lady, but stuffiness is not a quality that will move you up the bang-a-bility scale.
Michelle Obama:
PROS: Great legs, high cheekbones and a million-dollar smile.
CONS: No boobs, and her under-bite is annoying -- she always looks a little mad. Besides, that hair, a Mary Tyler Moore-circa-1975 flip, seems to be made out of black lacquer and molded steel. Hair that doesn't move in gale force winds is not a seductive thing.
Sarah Palin:
PROS: The former beauty pageant contestant has nice curves and a Tina Fey-esque, naughty librarian vibe. She also once worked as a sportscaster, so she might not mind if you wanted to watch the game.
CONS: Five kids? You could hear an echo in there.
