LOL: Three Things You Shouldn't Need to be Told, Unless You're an Idiot

There's nothing more annoying that someone telling you what you already know. Back in college, the Grinder knew these two roommates. The first guy subscribed to the newspaper. The second guy would pick up the sports page as soon as the first guy finished. Then, while reading it, he would point out facts of interest. The first guy would say things like "Dude, I just read that paper. Just now. You watched me." But to no avail.

So, while we understand that the following advice is going to be redundant for some of you, and annoying for being redundant, the larger issue is that a significant portion of humankind continues, in various ways, to act like complete morons on a daily basis. We must, with apologies to those of you who know this stuff, right these wrongs. Three of them. But you probably already got that from the title. These, then, are the Three

Don't Wear Sunglasses Inside
Are you stoned? Hiding red eyes? Tripping acid and have giant black pupils? Still in high school with Judd Nelson from 'Breaks fast Club' and need "better hallway vision? There are only two reasonable excuses for any human being ever to wear sunglasses indoors and/or after sunset. One, if it's Halloween and your costume is Ray Charles. Two, if you are very famous and must face a barrage of paparazzi when you walk out of a club. Other than that, for the love of Corey Hart no one should ever do that. Ever.

Don't Call a City "Islamabad"
What kind of Chamber of Commerce are they running over there? First of all, guys, your city has "Islam" in the name. Right up front. No offense or anything, but Islam has been having some moderate public relations challenges the last few years. Would it be possible to use "Muslim" instead? It has a much nicer sound. It makes people think of fabric.

Then, pretty obviously, the suffix "bad" has to go. Think about it. Would you eat a burger from a restaurant called "BurgerBad? Would you want tacos from a place called "The BadTaco"? Of course not. That's why you might consider"Muslimgood." See? Doesn't that sound nice. Muslimgood! It has a brighter, happier feel. Before you know it, the place will be a tourist Mecca. No offense.

Sarah Silverman Blows Fat Chunks, Besides Jimmy Kimmel
Did Sarah and Jimmy get back together? Again. Did they break up for good? It's like Brad and Jen used to be -- except those two were an attractive couple. Yeah, okay, Silverman can be kind of funny. Sometimes. Sort of. Whatever. She has always been way more interested in shocking than anything else. That's no so hard. Anyway, can you imagine her having a career without boobs? Neither can we.

Speaking of boobs, will someone tell Chelsea Handler she's there to talk about pop culture, not politics. Chelsea, you are funny enough to watch. But when a self-described drunken slut tries to preach on gay marriage, immigration and economy, we can't flip fast enough.

Okay, you know what. That last one sucked. Here's one more, a bonus:

Rihanna and Chris Brown should not be recording a duet
The couple, allegedly reconciled after Chris allegedly assaulted Rihanna, is now allegedly working on a song for Chris' new album, due later this year. The pair are allegedly working with alleged roducer Polow Da Don. Neither Chris nor Rihanna's representatives have commented, allegedly because they were all beating the shit out of each other and having hot make-up sex.