We've said it before:" Women are evil and men are dumb. But since we don't feel like getting loads of angry email from the ladies, we are laughing today at the five dumbest things guys do.5. Drive in a car with a whole bunch of guys hunched way down low.
Yeah, because nothing makes a woman on a sidewalk feel safer than three or four guys leering out of car widows. Unless you are looking to start your own BangBus, if which case you should be in a windowless van, painted grey with dealer tags, this is bad idea. By the same token, why do men ask jogging women if they'd like a ride? Oh yeah. Sure she does. That's why she put on jogging shoes, so someone could drive her around the block a few times. Has "baby, do you want a ride" ever worked, ay anytime for any guy? Has any women ever said "Sure, I was looking for some cardio-, so instead of jogging a few miles I'll just blow you in the back seat"? If she has, we promise she charged for it afterward.
4. Wear a Hoodie Our at Night
Guys, we are depressed about this too, because the hoodie has grown from a utility garment for jocks to the third greatest American fashion innovation of all-time, after baseball caps and tennis/basketball shoes. But if you wear a hoodie to a club, bar, restaurant, party, or out generally, even one with fancy tattoo-ish embroidery, be prepared to have people treat you like a hoodlum. That is where the name "hoodie" comes from, after all. The only way to avoid the stigma is to wear a tie with your hoodie. But then you risk looking like you are auditioning for Blink 182 and nobody wants that.
3. Experience blunt trauma to the head and not fall immediately into unconsciousness and/or a coma.
Hey, all you movie action-heroes in supposedly realistic films, please stop sustaining blunt trauma (like from an iron bar to the jaw), but shaking it off and continuing the chase. Also, at the opposite end of the spectrum, when you stabbed that guy in the stomach with a pocketknife, why did he die in, like, 30 seconds when a wound like that could take hours or even days to be fatal? It really ruins a movie when stuff like that happens. (Side-note to three gentlemen in the theater last evening; "blunt trauma" is not what you get from smoking good weed, although we do appreciate the wordplay
2. Not have Peace on Earth
Guys, seriously. Quit fighting wars and stuff. Come on.
And, finally, the single dumbest thing that guys do...
1. Forget to Floss
No woman, in the vast and sweeping panoply of human history, has ever turned down a man for having breath that was too fresh and clean.
