You've got to be careful about buying stuff for your dogs. There's a very fine line between clever and cute, and it isn't one a man should cross. If it's cold outside, for instance, and you have a short-haired dog, there's nothing unmanly about throwing on a dog-sweater to keep him warm -- preferably one that's emblazoned with the insignia of your favorite sports team. Just be careful, it's easy to slip from being a guy who takes good care of his animal to being a guy who plays dress-up. Here's a good rule of thumb: If you buy your dog hats, seek help immediately. In the entire history of the species, there has never been a single dog that likes wearing a hat.
What dogs do want is a task. They love having a job to do, which is what makes this
saddlebag-style carrying pack so effective. The dog gets something useful to do, and you get a beer cooler with four legs.
This country produces an enormous amount of dog crap each year. We started to search for exactly how much poop is produced, but decided against it. The number has got to be in the millions of tons per year and that's not an image anybody needs in their head. Somebody, somewhere must be working on way to
put that stuff to good use.
If you want to use dog-power more directly, you have two choice, rollerblade with a pack like Caesar Millan, or get the
Dog Powered Scooter system. The harness and adjustable metal rig runs $250, shipping included. You can hook it up to a bike or buy the specially-built Willy Scooter seen here. Next tie this year, you'll be in the
Iditarod.
The simple things in life are best, and there is no simpler dog toy than
Kong. When nothing is left on earth but cockroaches; when the moon turns red and stars fall from the sky, the Extreme Kong will yet endure. Too bad there won't be any dogs around, because throwing the King send them into spasms of indescribable joy.
