The Wall Street Journal reported today that Apple might survive without Steve Jobs. We hope the Journal is wrong. Oh, okay. No, we don't. We couldn't really wish failure on one of the most successful American companies of the past two decades. But we do love to hate Apple and their snobby, obsessive fans. Here's a news flash for all the MacHeads out there: "Simple to use," is just another way of saying "not for smart people."
Let's start with the basics: PCs are better for games and better for media because, duh, it's a PC world we're living in. Globally, the overwhelming majority of soft- and hardware is made to run on Windows. How would you feel if I offered you a very fast, great-looking car, but then told you that it only works on 10% of the world's roads?
PC's are far, far cheaper to buy and own. Apple’s least expensive laptop is more than $1,000, while you can get an el cheapo PC laptop for under $500. Or you can buy a decent Windows desktop for less than 25% of the cost of a Mac Pro. Not a third, not half. Under a fourth.
In the PC world, parts are interchangeable and everywhere. There are competing manufacturers and retail stores with various sales and rebates. There are always refurbished parts for people who want to build on the cheap. Apple is just Apple; exerting a top-down, fascistic control over all products and prices. Consequently, if you want to speed up a Windows system, you can buy more memory, a new motherboard and even a CPU, possibly installing them yourself. If you want a to speed up a Mac, buy a new Mac.
Corporate culture? Rough. Don't but the New Age-y PR. In December 2004, Apple filed a lawsuit against O'Grady's PowerPage for posting information about upcoming technology. (Apple shared the info with outsiders under nondisclosure agreements.) The "news" the company sued over? A new FireWire interface for the game GarageBand. Big whoop. Apple lost and ended up paying something like $600,000 in court costs. Or what about last year, when Apple shipped iPods containing a worm and tactfully blamed Microsoft, saying, "As you might imagine, we are upset at Windows for not being more hardy against such viruses, and even more upset with ourselves for not catching it." How about an apology to people unlucky enough to buy the infected iPods? Oh, and while we are on the the subject of the iPod, has any company ever used planned obsolesce to better effect? Those things are really built to last... A year.
You've got to hate Apple's air of cultural superiority; the glitzy, self-congratulatory press conferences and having "geniuses" in their stores. Is there anyone out there who doesn't think that the "I'm a Mac/ I'm aPC" ads with Justin Long and John Hodgman didn't devolve into self-parody a year ago.
But Apple's greatest crime, their most unpardonable sin, is undoubtedly teaching the world to use the lower-case letter "I" as a suffix for product names. That alone is enough to warrant our eternal scorn. Apple's first product with a leading lowercase letter came in 1994, with a failed online service called "eWorld." But then the company introduced the iMac in 1998 and a monster was born. That single letter, added to "Pod," "Phone" and "Tunes," has spawned hundreds of imitators with annoyingly cute, faux-geek product names. Just check out iChair at the iLounge. You'll see what we mean. While you're doing that, we'll grab a beer from the iFridge.
